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Falling Prey to a Psychopath /Mind Control: A Recipe for Disaster
- Tara Judson Stariell
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Welcome to “Healing From Within” with host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love which shares stories of spiritual awakening spiritual communication healing energies, miracles, and a way to remember our deeper selves through intuition and higher consciousness and today we welcome Tarra Judson Stariell author of Sanity Lost and Found which shares a true story of brainwashing abuse and recovery through the power of love.
As listeners of “Healing From Within” know Sheryl and her guests share intimate stories of becoming aware of life not merely on a physical level, but an energetic level: knowing that in connection to energy and feelings, we can know in metaphysical reality much about the dual nature of life and begin to answer age old questions, “Who are we?” and “What is this life really all about?”
In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” we will journey with the main character of the book through childhood trauma, emotionally distant parents, life on a rural farm, drugs, sex, and the turmoil of the 70’s to a cult like life falling prey to a psychopath using mind control techniques who took away her freedom and will and made her a victim through fear and her own irrationality. Her search for spiritual truth lead her to explore many avenues before recognizing her own strength and power were within her all the time.
When Sandra is asked to think back to her childhood and remember a person place or event that may have shown her or others the path she might pursue as an adult Sandra writes, “At four years old she had been hospitalized twice with life threatening gastroenteritis and on the second occasion watched from the ceiling as medical staff rushed around her body lying on the gurney below. She survived and went home with a heart murmur. We lived on a farm and death was a common occurrence on the ranch. My questions without answers bothered me at night. What happens when we die? Where did we come from? If we come from God what is God? Where did God come from? Why can’t anyone give me answers.” At five I had surgery to correct a squinty eye. No one prepared me for what would happen at the Children’s Hospital in San Diego and the doctor asked if I wanted to wear one of the rubber masks and I said, “Yes” but as soon as they placed the rubber device reeking with a disgusting smell and held it tightly against my face I kicked and fought to rip it off . When I awoke my left eye was patched and the muscle stretched to correct the problem. It was common practice to trick children or mislead them about surgery. The result was from that time on I was frightened of doctors and cried whenever I encountered them or needed a medical procedure.” Lack of preparing Sandra for these medical procedures wounded her and took away a piece of her trusting soul nature. We really need to communicate and allow children to be ready to enter any challenge with some awareness of the process.
Described as a bright and beautiful child brought up in what many would think and idyllic ranch setting, the seeds for her being susceptible to being the victim of a psychopath and cult life style began in the experiences of her childhood. Can you tell us what went wrong early on and how we can caution parents to watch for these problems Sheryl asks?
Sandra tells us of being sexually molested by Chris a young teenager who she offered to help at school and was sent by her teacher outside alone with the young man. Sandra writes, “At about six years old, the man who brought his truck to school to do a shop class outside and had a helper Chris a teenager who you offered to help find his missing tool and your teacher Miss Kennedy told you to go outside with him. While I pointed to a shelf with the tool high above he grabbed me and forced me hard onto his lap and I froze. Reaching up my dress he shoved my panties aside and forced his finger inside me. I drifted away until a strange pleasant sensation brought me back…I broke free. I ran back and stood in front of the classroom door shaking with terror. I mustn’t tell anyone or they will get angry with me and Miss Kennedy will get in trouble: it will all be my fault. They wouldn’t believe me anyway: and would only get mad at me for making up stories.” How many children have these experiences suffer and are afraid to talk up and release their confusion and pain. Too many we now know and we must find ways to prevent these events from damaging our children and hold perpetrators accountable.
Sheryl goes on to say that so many children are unable to tell of these happenings and in many former shows authors have revealed how prevalent this problem is in our society. As many as two out of four children will be sexually molested. We must help children to develop the skills to resist if possible these aggressions, and tell someone they trust after the incident, or they will carry a heavy burden that can lead them into many addictions as they try to move past the shame and hurt of such painful events. Parents and teachers should not allow children to be left alone or encouraged to go in cars have sleep- overs even with relatives, as most often perpetrators are people known to the victims.
As a young adult Sandra joined the Peace Corps in the turbulent 70’s immersing yourself in the culture of South America as a result of meeting a young man Graham around that time and after Graham finished his Peace Corps assignment in Colombia he proposed to Sandra. In spite of being phobic about marriage she accepted. Sandra was working on teacher credentials but jobs were scarce. Disillusioned with the states Graham accepted a staff position with Peace Corp Colombia and Sandra dropped out of school glad to get away from her mother and the problems of her dysfunctional family life.
Sandra tells us that In the streets of Bogota on the crowded sidewalks there was much poverty and countless beggars and children begging who lived on the streets. They were called gamines and were abandoned by their parents to fend for themselves. In a way she was reminded of her own lonely childhood. The group went on to Medellin, the City of Eternal Spring which was similar in climate and vegetation to Hawaii, but much older with stately colonial architecture. I didn’t resemble the Colombians and so I was an outsider. Sandra began to change her appearance to fit in and learn Spanish and began teaching English, learning Spanish in the process. Assimilation in any culture is a necessary prerequisite for success and happiness. Graham was immersed in supervising the volunteers in his program. Cultural schisms seemed to widen the gulf between Graham and me diminishing our empathy and connection with one another We drifted apart as I tumbled into depression struggling to find purpose and a sense of belonging.
It became obvious here that her difficulty to assume a sense of belonging was rooted in the many disappointments and abuses by parents sexual abuse and a loss of trust in her childhood. No relationship could survive the upsets by her earlier challenging childhood experiences.
After divorcing Graham Sandra returned to the states where it didn’t take long for her to fall prey to a man who in short order imprisoned her in a life of restriction pain and suffering. Sandra like so many souls only wanted to be loved. She wrote, “ As a child all she wanted to hear from her mommy was a hug, a soft look, or some other indication that you were loved and lovable, despite all the mistakes you thought you made. So it seems perception of failure low self-esteem and confidence are the seeds that allow someone to fall prey to terrible relationships and friendships. You didn’t believe you were worthy of anything better.
After coming back from Colombia and having a sexual relationship with Juanita someone she met in the Peace Corps, and coming out to her parents, although her mother was accepting, her father behaved quite differently. Rejected by him again Sandra took an “est” seminar on sex, as many people at that time were looking for ways to improve their lives and the reception to gays and lesbians was quite chilly then. Even twenty plus years later when Ellen De Generes announced she was a lesbian, she faced dropped sponsor and network rejection. Struggling to comprehend the unusual circumstances of her life added to Sandra’s emotional stress and mounting financial issues were another issue. After a car crash, she was sure it was all happening because she was just evil She contacted Dr. Kubler Ross at her retreat center and the famous doctor told her she did not believe in such things as demon possession as they were not real in her experience. Frustrated Sandra moved to San Diego still thinking her “est” training program could lead to world transformation. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross was a leader in the formation of the hospice movement and a believer that life survived physical death.
Sandra writes, “Then she met Solar who had had paranormal experiences and was directed to drive into the backcountry to spot UFO’s. Solar told her we are not the only conscious life in the universe and he himself came from a far-away place to fulfill his mission on Earth. He had a system called The Program which he would teach Sandra. Solar pursued Sandra relentlessly and her family were unimpressed with him but his validation of her interests offered nurturing to her blighted self-esteem. Sandra desperately needed a way to fulfill the mission of spreading the word that people had to change in order to save the earth. After having sex with Solar she thought she might not be a lesbian although for thousands of years in some parts of the world, bisexuality was recognized, but was not accepted in Sandra’s own awareness. Solar did not work and was at Sandra’s condo often. The shift from the condo to the house on Mohawk Street was swift and total. in a neighborhood in the Mesa just outside San Diego Sandra would learn that Solar had chosen a location similar to his history and family not far from his mother. In short order she was isolated from her former friends family and life and told by Solar that in pursuit of reaching a higher level of spiritual awareness she was not supposed to leave the house or talk to anyone. So began the years of abuse and hurtful living that engulfed her.
Sheryl says Solar sounds like he suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or similar disorder where a lack of empathy makes them almost inhuman and which can be hazardous to the health of their victims and can even cause the abused person to lose touch with reality, contract an illness, or die.
The only way Sandra was eventually able to get help was when Solar ran out of money and Sandra and another woman and child Peggy and the Boy her son, returned to Sandra’s grandma’s house to live. Sandra’s grandmother and family became aware of the abusive lifestyle she was living, under the domination of Solar, a very sick disturbed man. Sandra’s parents called the police and had her committed so she could escape a life of depravation and abuse. She went back to Solar after being released from the mental facility and was beaten lost a tooth and for some unknown reason finally was ready to escape her lifestyle. Solar finally let her go back to her Gramma’s house. After her family got involved and “the Boy” Peggy’s son, was put into the foster care system and her family also got involved, Solar realized there were too many people aware of what he was doing and he let them go. He had fraudulently been taking another of the group’s money for disability which was a criminal offense. The authorities were aware of his mind control tactics and abuses. Sandy was lucky to have a family mother father brothers and grandmother who were able to help her and support her through undoing the years of neglect and abuse.
When asked about some places she had traveled to that fed her desire to break out of the sad restricted life of her family and their problems she says that she seized the opportunity to take a friend up on his offer to accompany him and others on a road trip into the interior of Mexico when she was attending community college. She writes, “The goal was Cozumel for its pristine waters good for snorkeling and diving. Our first stop was in Mazatlan, a small village at the time. We healed to Guadalajara and dropped to see Tula outside of Mexico City. The magnificent statues atop their stone structures planted seeds of wonder inside me kindling questions about this ancient and vanished culture. In Mexico City we visited the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon. Where had the people who lived here come from and where had they gone? At the same time I watched as the astronauts of the Apollo landed on the moon.”
She goes on to write, “At around this time my parents were divorcing and my father moved out of the house. Soon I was introduced to marijuana and left my art classes to find relief from the negative emotions growing inside me. Furious with my parents for their behavior and for not trying to work things out I also hated the idea of leaving our beloved ranch and yet knew that was imminent. At about this time I accidentally crossed paths with a friend who invited me to a barbecue and met Graham a handsome stranger who was heading to Colombia South America to work in the Agricultural Program to avoid being drafted into the Viet Nam war. We discovered a shared love for horses country life and a desire to help the oppressed of the world. Graham wanted experience on a dairy farm and my father agreed to let him work there. While he worked on the ranch Graham and I fell in love. Graham left for Colombia for his two year Peace Corp assignment and my mother brother and I moved from the ranch into suburbia. I then lost two important men in my life. My father had stopped speaking with me and Graham left for South America.. So abandonment and loss of love were big issues that continually plagued Sandra.
Sandra tells us about many interesting happening during her assignment for the Peace Corps in Bogota after visiting the ruins in another nearby town with wondrous full size carved statues and where she spoke with roommates Gwyn Carlota and Leann of actually going through Ecuador to Machu Picchu in Peru where there were incredible ruins. What do the people of those places say about the ruins? The people in the villages believe the carvings were connected to aliens. The people in La Florida another town talk of UFO’s all the time. People lined up around someone’s house where they saw a guacha or spirit light. It’s a spirit that shows up somewhere It can appear in a glass of water or look like a dancing light in a room. They figure it is an angelic spirit bringing miracles and healing powers. They often ask for miracles from these visions of light.
Other supernatural or events that happened to Sandra included a day in Pasto which was Colombia’s last stop along the dirt road ascending the Andes into ancient Incan territory. Sandra and her friends passed a gravedigger and he had an urn with a man’s head on a frog’s body and Sandra just figured it must be an archaeological relic and purchased it. With just enough light to see by, she entered her room and placed the urn on its pedestal. Before going to bed she blew out her candle and turned toward her window and her heart stopped. Staring back at Sandra was a white glowing face. Sandra told her friend Gwyn who she also called Spook because she embraced the supernatural.
Another time on a trip to a remote undeveloped region we stopped to have a cigarette and a campesino dressed in white clothing approached us and walked up to me and said, “Soon you will find what you are looking for,” He took a few steps and stopped in front of Gwyn and I watched him turn and start walking the way he had come. After about ten steps he vanished. What? He had just disappeared. Gwyn said that maybe he was an angel. I looked up and down the road desperate to find him but I never did.
In Sheryl’s book “Life Is No Coincidence” Sheryl has many stories of people who have met people in challenging times who come to help and then cannot be found when you go to look for them. When Sheryl’s Mother was in Intensive Care after a car accident caused her to have a heart attack, a young man who told Sheryl his name was Timothy came in and said he would help her mother. After leaving Intensive Care to another part of the hospital on a slow but steady downhill decline, she had a feeding tube down her nose and suddenly Timothy entered the room and Sheryl ran to him and said, “Timothy, My mother is not doing well like when you were taking care of her. Timothy walked to her bedside and said, “You don’t need that feeding tube you can eat on your own.” The next morning when Sheryl returned to her mother’s room the feeding tube was gone and she was eating some jello.
Sheryl ran to the office to find Timothy to thank him for helping my mother again but no one named Timothy was on staff in that part of the hospital. Since that time Sheryl has met many Timothy’s, often at times when she needed help or new insights into a situation. It seems there are angels all around us and helpers from Spirit. We are truly never alone.
Another interesting story is the picture you were shown of Jesus with water stains running down from his eyes. Sandra’s Colombian friend told her she had seen the picture shedding real tears. Sandra lacked an explanation for her experience being taught that paranormal and psychic phenomena were psychological delusions trickery or just plain evil.
Sheryl says that for the first part of her life she was a skeptic even though as a child she had seen faces of light in her bedroom window and felt hands on her as she was in bed so she always slept under the covers to avoid that. But being taught that we only have one life she failed to grasp the spiritual or energetic components of metaphysics that we don’t die and life is eternal until she began to have many experiences proving that “Consciousness survives physical death” and we do actually continue to live beyond this three dimensional life process. As a medium and energy healer she knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that we are surrounded by loved ones higher vibrational beings souls angels guides and myriads of life forces.
Juanita a university professor and former volunteer from the Peace Corp helped Sandra with her visa which had elapsed. She told Sandra of a book Visited Ganymede written in Spanish by a Peruvian named Yosip Ibrahim about space beings who claimed he Earth was going to undergo major changes and enc in the year 2000 and they took him on a space ship to the planet Ganymede where they all live under the surface and are much more advanced than us. She told me he planned to return to the states to share this information Sandra laughed and said she hoped to stay in Colombia for a long time and when the final words escaped an eerie silence filled the room and she noticed an electric bluish white energy forming to her left…it seemed to be like two pillars of light take shape and I heard a voice speak in my head: You need to return home and share with your family and others that life as you know it on Planet Earth will end if humans do not change the way they are living…Humans are creating the devastation we speak of that threatens your planet.
The culture of the times while Sandra was at San Diego State University exposed her to sex and drugs. With the development of oral contraceptives the pill was all the rage liberating sexuality for women at a time when STD’s were not an issue. We rocked out to Janis Joplin Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison our own drug use unphased by the fact that these icons had all fatally overdosed. Mescaline and LSD became my favorite psychedelics and Sandra used marijuana frequently. The peace and freedom movement of the sixties and seventies spawned experimentation with music sex and drugs. Sandra worked a full time job by day attended university at night and escaped through sex and drugs on the weekend.
A question emerged for Sandra after working for the Bienestar nutritional educational and recreational programs for the impoverished malnourished children and their families . She witnessed the suffering of the shanty town residents and wanted to know why they faced a destiny of limited opportunities and inequality because of their race or social status.
Sandra tells the story of the grandmother taking care of her grandchildren because the parents had abandoned them. And Sandra writes, “My eyes adjusted to the haze as I stood upon the hard packed floor and inhaled the cool smell of damp earth—a welcome relief from the arid sun. The youngest child so gravely malnourished he needed hospitalization and there was not enough beds to accommodate the starving children in this neighborhood. She and the children were doing fine, she told me, and said, “God willing,” they would live to see another day. She was happy to be alive a peaceful soul struggling only with the strands of cloth she was mending, a rag more than a tattered shirt. They would “get by,” she said. And I knew they would, because she said so. She was a magnificent being who threw my perspective an awesome curve. Love and faith were the important qualities to survive any challenge.”
Sandra might like readers to take away with them after reading her story of love loss adventure and journeys into different lifestyles that it is important to be aware that in a relationship where someone separates you from family friend work and controls communication there is a problem. This is taken from the book “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism—A Study of Brainwashing in China.” Specifically, Solar controlled all forms of communication allowed Sandra and the others to listen to anything or anyone but him, or to communicate with each other. We were required to tell him every thought dream or action on a daily basis. We were under constant threat of beatings and worse to separate us from negative entities. Solar made us believe he was chosen by Source to help us return to spirituality. We all believed that Solar did what was best for us out of Love and for a Higher Purpose of helping save Humankind from imminent destructions. The betrayals included lying to families, authorities, and created separation from our former lives. We were constantly made to feel shame. It is very important to protect your own ideas values self worth and avoid involvement with anyone who tries to make you feel unworthy and unloved for any reason. Ask for help in getting out of relationships with any person like this from a cult or a psychopath sociopath or person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Tarra Judson Stariell has shown her very revealing story a clear profile of how childhood trauma emotionally distant parents drugs sex and lack of self-esteem can be a powerful prerequisite for falling into a cult lifestyle or an involvement with a psychopath sociopath or narcissistic personality disorder individual any of which will lead to the dissolution of mind body heart and soul.
In summarizing today’s episode of ‘Healing From Within” it is the hope of both Tarra and Sheryl that we shine light on a very dark life style that oppresses many women here and in other parts of the world. In the name of spirituality or religion, some groups might enslave and abuse women and children. Some people may not have families to bail them out of the bondage they find themselves in, but, for anyone who has allowed themselves to be victimized, for anyone who has doubted their value and from anyone wanting to protect their children from such vulnerabilities, we suggest that our schools and judicial systems, our religious organizations, and medical institutions talk out about these practices and liberate people who are held in life threatening living conditions. We must learn to talk up and teach our children to talk up at any sign of abuse and ask for help until someone, or some agency or family, surfaces to end the abuse.
Tarra and I would have you know that whatever trauma or suffering you have known, there is always hope and guidance if we begin to trust our own right and divine destiny of love and happiness which is our birthright. We can live through much, sometimes in order to find our greatest truth, that life is really worth living and change is always there in the right time.
