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Find the Courage to Be Your Authentic Self
- Chaney Weiner
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In today’s episode of Healing From Within, your host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit , which shares stories of spiritual awakenings, spiritual communication, healing energies miracles and approaches for understanding your spiritual and physical life forces, welcomes Chaney Weiner founder of the Chaney Institute of Human Potential and author of Because This Is Your Life… a book to guide you to discover who you are and how to feel appreciated and recognized for all you do.
Chaney will help us identify the purpose of life beyond merely finding happiness, and share how to live it with dignity consistency and grace and how to genuinely feel worthy of love respect appreciation and recognition as is our divine and human right. We will try to discover how to quite simply “BE” who we were born to be and not what the world or other expect us to be. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to discover the hidden blessings that often reveal themselves in moments of anger, regret and rejection.
The topic we are investigating today is “What does it take to feel and be appreciated for who you are and all you do?” So the question is…. Something we see on a regular basis nowadays is the idea of wanting to be happy. You see it being promoted everywhere. You say life is not about being happy and there’s something deeper, something beyond happiness that every person strives for.
This book isn’t about trying to live a positive and happy life although certainly that is a good thing. It is about living a meaningful life. Yes, being happy and positive are important but there’s something that goes deeper: beyond that, that is at the core of who you are and your human nature. It’s about making a difference and in a way that allows your uniqueness to shine so you can be your true self, the person you were put on this earth to be. It is then that you can be respected appreciated and recognized for who you are and all you do.
When it comes to feeling and being appreciated for who you are it’s the “for who you are” part that is most important to someone. This brings up something Chaney discusses in his book which he calls the “unreasonable authentic you” and it has to do with being reasonable vs. unreasonable. Chaney describes life as a series of “first times” and there are hidden blessings in every one of them. These hidden blessings are actually your life’s guiding force..they can involve meeting someone for the first time, a career change, finances and each first time moment has left an impression on us in some way. And we also leave first impressions on the different people who meet us.
It may sound strange but these first impressions you have of somebody, both positive and negative, actually define who you are and help you discover something about yourself as they awaken you to know what makes you special and unique, and reflects the real sincere nature of who you are and all you do. This is the backbone and driving force of being respected appreciated and recognized for who you are and all you do which comes from observing and from self-investigation of our inner most wisdom.
Chaney suggests it’s been said that the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask. Simply put when you ask quality questions it prompts you to dig deep within to come up with quality answers, even those you didn’t think you had inside you and that transforms and changes the course of your life…many people discover that even if they could go back in time and do things in another way they probably wouldn’t as their choices affected them in many areas of their lives and probably was what was needed at that time. Ex. The movie Sliding Doors with Helen played by Gwyneth Paltrow who got fired from her job and missed getting on her subway train by a few seconds and at this point the movie diverges into two parallel universes with 2 different outcomes to her life.
Chaney writes…. “You were put on this earth for a reason and quite often it can be easy to forget this and get caught up in all the things that leaves you not believing in yourself. And one of the best cures for this is to have that one person who can see something in you that you may not have seen in yourself. Whatever this is for you it’s unique, it’s the special gifts you have that allows you to contribute tremendous amounts of value to the world. You’re an important person in the world because of the uniqueness of who you are….”
Sheryl relates a story to Chaney.. “I remember often saying to my sister Rodelle, who passed away this year, that we are all unique and special in different ways and she would say Do you really believe that?” as she didn’t understand how I could mean that… and I wrote in my book “The Living Spirit” about uniqueness ….”We must realize that each person perceives the world according to his or her life experiences, both present and past; therefore, we will never fully understand another’s behavior or their reasons for doing things differently than we do……. Each of us is unique and we are on different karmic and energetic pursuits. …….This realization is the key to allowing accepting everything and everyone without judgment, anxiety fear pain anger or hate. It is you will find the only way for us to experience true contentment while we are on this three-dimensional plane.”
A big part of feeling and being appreciated has to do with feeling “worth it” for all you do…. But not in a way that you rely on others to feel worth it (Self esteem) This brings us relying on self worth vs. self esteem. What’s the difference and how are they involved in someone being able to feel appreciated?
Every human being just wants to be loved and appreciated for who they are…that is a guaranteed truth in life When people understand you they’ll care enough to take the time and see that you do things in your own unique way. It may not agree with the way you do things but then…..We’re all the same but different. So for example you may show how considerate you are to somebody else by being on time…someone else may have been late but may offer to stay later or do more than expected to be considerate.
Let’s talk about how loving yourself is involved in feeling and being appreciated. You suggest that new people that emerge as mentors in your life often remind us of others that we appreciated and loved or respected and also these new mentors don’t necessarily have to be physically right next to you They can be seen on TV or found on line or the author of a book and can remind you of your own uniqueness and goals and dreams that you wish to pursue…. An example Sheryl offers is, “For me there are so many people who move my heart and soul due to their soul excellence. When Leonardo Di Caprio won his first Academy Award for the movie The Revenant after 6 previous nominations, I was delighted …Di Caprio had worked tirelessly and consistently over the last 20 years and expressed the beauty of his craft and his persona with such dignity that it is a pleasure to observe. I like to think I work that way not for others, but to develop my own abilities and bring them into the world with each person I met, and in these shows on Healing From Within where my guests and I express love of Self and gratitude for life.
This leads in to when Chaney in his book, Because This Is Your Life, talks about the voices of love and appreciation.
Chaney gives a quote from Nietzsche in the chapter Is This Who You Really Are? that says, “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
Loving yourself applies to understanding your human traits which include an equal amount of positives and negatives…some people will think you conceited and stuck up when you use your uniqueness and talent to the best of your ability but it’s necessary and empowering to value yourself, your goals and interests, and not be afraid of what other people think about you.
If you would want to hide any of your private life and worry if someone found out who you really are….then you have not learned to love yourself. What’s important here is that you are aware and prepared for moments that come up in your life. What at first may have you feeling uneasy and being able to not let them or others bother you, in what they said or think about you, allows you to tune in and be present, while tuning out the distractions. This allows you to control your life versus having others control you.
Here is the important question…Do you embrace the uniqueness of who you are and get others to appreciate what makes you different from other people or do you stifle it so that you could fit in and try to be like others. Sacrifice or cave in to others and the world This is how you get to a deeper appreciation of your uniqueness…Do you bend to fit others or do you stand firm while being true to who you are regardless of what anybody says about you….Quite often people feel that in order to feel appreciated it’s a good idea to “keep the peace” and not rock the boat so to speak. Having the courage to be authentic will mean you may have to rock the boat at times. When you realize throughout your life you’ve been both nice and mean, happy and sad, kind and cruel, giving and taking equally, then you are being truly authentic. This is being 2- sided and how you were designed to be and you never have to give up anything about yourself to fully appreciate and love yourself or your good and bad moments.
There will of course be situations you’ll come across in life no matter what you do and no matter how much you appreciate and love yourself where you’ll still get those people that won’t appreciate you. A wise man once said, “ I’d rather have the whole world against me instead of my own soul.” There will always be people who get you and those who don’t The fact of the matter is when you hear someone say you’re not able to do what you love whatever it is…they are forgetting that your reality is based on who you are and is different than their reality.
Chaney says to remember that when someone uses a negative label or remark about you like calling you stupid, perhaps because when they asked you to do something you did it wrong…instead of being upset you can find some benefit in the remark..it could show you there is a different and perhaps more effective way of getting the job done. It’s testing your patience and it allows you to be more resourceful while coming up with creative ways to be used in many different areas of your life…there are an equal amount of benefits to every drawback or negative. There are 7 different areas of life…spiritual mindset development family social physical career financial pursuit of your purpose and the more you empower yourself in any of these areas the higher the probability of you being respected, appreciated and recognized for who you are and all you do. And it reduces the chances of being bullied….The labels and doubts of the naysayers can inspire you to greater achievement.
There’s another often overlooked way of feeling and being appreciated that Chaney feels is very important that comes up quite often….which can and does make the difference, especially in relationships. This happens when you understand cause and effect…when living at cause, you’re in control of you life and take the initiate to make choices and decisions that treat the cause instead of the effect. There are no freak accidents or things you can’t explain even though it may seem that way at first. The fact is everything that happens in your life happens for a reason. There’s a cause behind every event and situation you come across; things don’t just happen by luck or random coincidence…
Remember you are the cause of how your life turns out…Quote by Frank Outlaw
Remember this
Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words, they become your actions,
Watch your actions, they become habits,
Watch your habits, they become character,
Watch your character, it becomes destiny
Chaney Weiner, author of Because This Is Your Life shows us how life consists of many new beginnings and ways to go within to the heart of the matter which is simply to become aligned to the song and personal reality of your life plan and destiny, and to be true to what resonates with truth for your own acceptance of Self and others often moving past what others may value or need for their own journey.
Chaney has laid out a view point that guides us to see the duality of our thinking and to the events that we are faced with as we interact with all kinds of people and situations that are uniquely and personally perceived by each individual as it relates to their personal history and their childhood patterning and the knowledge they possess at that moment and particular challenge. Therefore when we begin to see the advantages rather than the disadvantages in each experience, and find something of value rather than buy into the fear of loss including love, life finances home or peace of mind we can see that being true to oneself empowers us to experience life with gratitude and just about anything that may be a challenge or difficulty will just “roll of your back.”
Chaney wrote…Your mind contains the perceptions of how you view the world. This is driven by the five senses you and every human being has…..It’s also the place where you’ll perceive certain situations and people as being positive OR negative, “good” OR “bad” ..Yet the world or Universe is set up according to AND which can also be referred to as duality. So what this comes down to is seeing the world around you as one sided which is (OR) versus two-sided which is (AND). Perceiving people and the world as one sided has you feeling emotional and over time leaves you with emotional baggage. When you perceive the world as two sided, you are present focused centered and grounded. As a result your mind is balanced and this allows you to open your heart. This is when you’re authentic and discover the truth of who you are and it allows you to make clear decisions and choices. When you come across someone who calls you crazy or labels you in any way simply remember “When you’re out of your mind, you’re in your heart which is the most powerful and authentic place to be.”
Chaney and Sheryl would have you remember a wonderful quote he included in his book by Friedrich Nietzsche “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
