Internet Radio Show
Finding Love Balance and Happiness
- Jonathan Robinson
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In today’s episode of Healing From Within, your host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love welcomes Jonathan Robinson author of his newest book Find Happiness Now. We will share Jonathan’s journey to Self-Actualization and the joy he has found in living one of his life purposes— to share a path of discovering the keys to happiness. As Sheryl has suggested in her new book The Living Spirit you can have a positive happy life for it is your divine birth right, but you must be consistent in your efforts. Jonathan says... “You need to actively cultivate the happiness habit” Is it worth the effort? Both Sheryl and Jonathan say It is the only way to discover who you are, what life is all about, and how we can begin to remember why we chose to have a physical life in the first place.
Jonathan Robinson, a psychotherapist and a leading expert on how to be happy shows how he gets his message across in powerful and unusual ways giving his audiences useful and simple ways to feel better how to go from stressed out to blessed out in under 60 seconds with a scientifically proven method…how to catch happiness from others, and learn to pass it on to those you love…how to perform “The Intimate Coffee Break in Your office.”
As a teenager, Jonathan contemplated suicide, a terribly shy youngster who never seemed to fit in…It was a Junior High School Teacher that opened a door to his self-worth and ultimately put him on the path towards discovering the keys to happiness so that others wouldn’t have to suffer as he did…he has been on a quest to learn and disseminate the most practical psychological information to the world. He has interviewed Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama Dr. Deepak Chopra and Ram Dass, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Oprah, Ted Turner, Kenny Loggins etc.
The common thread that runs throughout these enlightened and ennobled people we just mentioned are gratitude, grace, trust, faith and Happiness Within Their Soul Being. It is not the outside world that creates unhappiness sorrow and disappointment. You either make a choice to be happy or not..It is a choice of the ego or physical world..the inner world of the soul knows its divine right to be happy is not dependent on any person, event, or circumstance..these are just experiences for us to develop greater love of life and Self.
In Sheryl’s new book The Living Spirit, she has a passage entitled “Taking Responsibility for Our Happiness” and shares a quote by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky which says, “How Simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now.” Now that makes sense.. If we look for perfection which doesn’t exist or happiness from outside influences and not from within we are barking up the wrong trail. Happiness is a choice just as suffering is a choice…if we train ourselves to focus our attention and interests in pursuit of higher spiritual values such as self-growth love of life and accepting everything as a means to learn and share all we have and know with others… with a good heart while in pursuit of peace harmony balance and love…happiness must follow. Happiness is the natural state of Being and is our natural birthright.
In discussing what constitutes a healthy relationship it can be seen that a healthy relationship is where two people support each other in being happy together, as well as help each other to find happiness within themselves. It means listening to what is said, or unsaid, sense a person’s state of mind or need for help affection or support, and share the important dreams and goals with those who express their interest and hopes for your well being…not only a partner but people whom you interact with.. friends family and business associates who have vested interests and goals. To build a healthy relationship it helps to know certain methods for communicating effectively as well as ways to make sure you maintain a good attitude. I’ve found the right method can be the difference between a successful marriage and an unhappy experience or divorce. Jonathan has found that the number one thing people in a healthy relationship have is a high degree of mutual understanding. By this he means that both people feel they are understood by their partner—even if their partner does not always agree with them.
One maintains a healthy relationship by better understanding your partner’s exact needs as well as helping them to enjoy life more…for example one method is to simply ask your partner two questions. First, you ask them to remember a recent time they felt loved by you. Then you ask them, “What helped you to know that I really cared for you in that moment? Was it something I said, or maybe something I did for you, or was it perhaps a way that I touched you or looked at you. People have very different ways that they feel loved or appreciated and if you know what those things are you can better love your partner and everyone else for that matter in a way they “get.” If you consistently do things that make your partner feel happy they will return that love to you.
Another key to how to maintain a healthy relationship is to learn to be happy on your own. If you always expect your partner to make you happy, you do not have a healthy relationship..Fortunately happiness is a skill that can be learned.
You’ve likely heard that when you smile the whole world smiles back, but when you’re in a bad mood people reflect that bad mood back to you. It is important to learn how to feel better. if you are triggered by events or people who act in a way to upset you should step back think of something positive and let the moment pass without engaging the negative emotional charge.
Some ways to shift your thinking no matter how bad the event may make you feel is to ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” and “What can I learn from this?” Find other people or things to focus on that bring you happiness and laughter..Ask for forgiveness to yourself if you were instrumental in creating the issue or problem and Forgive the other person for their insensitivity or lack of regard for you…doesn’t mean you forgive their bad behavior but you can move away from focusing on it which can only bring suffering to you. Remember you cannot make anyone change or think like you or care for you or love you, so allow the other person time and space for their own development.
Jonathan says there are two basic approaches for finding happiness and gives certain techniques for finding happiness in yourself.
The first approach for finding happiness for many people is what l can get or have…. “More Money and Control. In this approach you aim to get greater control over people, the situations and environment you are in. That way you can supposedly make things be the way that pleases you. Our culture strongly endorses this approach.There is only one problem with this approach…It doesn’t work that well. Think Donald Trump..the people with the most control and money are not any happier than the rest of us.
The Second Approach is called the “Inner Technology” method where you learn simple powerful “inner methods that can help you find happiness within and the tools to help fill your life with more love meaning and purpose. In this approach you work to change what’s between your own ears rather than change the entire world… One simple method to try is to ask yourself a simple question anytime you encounter something you don’t like—such as a traffic jam, a problem at work, or a mate that is argumentative..the question is “What can be good about this” If you try to come up with an answer even if you don’t believe the answer you will still be more relaxed and amused rather than uptight and angry..you may be able to maintain your good mood instead of falling into emotional holes Another simple method is to schedule time for things you enjoy. One man tells how he though this idea to be too simplistic but that week scheduled time to play ball with his son and enjoyed it so much..he realized he was always putting fun and hobbies to the back burner. Now each Sunday he plans a couple of things that help him live a happy life and it is noticeable to others a little technique with big benefits…
Sheryl Says, “In other words, you begin to know yourself attitudes and goals and to focus more on developing your own patterns for changing any fears limitations or false beliefs so you can manifest what you need for health happiness and a productive life not succumbing to the negativity or different needs of people who are around you…you have the personal power to hold on to your happiness and if someone acts badly you don’t take it personally…it is their problem and challenge to overcome ..everyone’s perception is unique to their karma, goals and desires, and the way they view the world and others..those who only see the need to survive by controlling will not be as sensitive to others as those who see the world as a place to thrive with cooperation and love do.”
Experiencing daily gratitude is one key to living a happy and fulfilled life. One can begin to develop simple tools for increasing it in their lives by:
- Growing an attitude of gratitude using two simple words…? And learning the words and attitudes that destroy gratitude and how to overcome the tendency to feel like you never have enough.
- Create a Gratitude List
- Create a Gratitude Journal
- Create a Gratitude Letter
The greatest ability to have presence of mind whenever you want or need it is you say in your opinion the greatest ability a person can learn. Being present is not easy as we all have a constant stream of stories going on in our head that often keep us from being present in what is happening right now. When we step out of our stories and simply allow ourselves to be fully and completely here, it’s like stepping into an entirely different world. When we have presence of mind or body, we feel totally peaceful and at ease. We are more open to seeing what course of action is best for everyone. We feel good, and we can better act in the world. Being present is not something that you “do” --It’s really our natural state once we let go of our internal obstacles (fears beliefs past limitations and traumas and opinions.)
Some of the ways to let go of personal stories or thoughts you are feeling is to ask yourself two questions.
- Could I allow myself to welcome whatever I’m currently experiencing?
(Normally we resist negative things, but whatever you resist persists. By fully welcoming a feeling or thought pattern it instantly helps to make it flow right through you….like clouds passing through and open sky - The Second question that can lead to peace of mind is “Could I allow myself to let go of this story or thought etc. just for right now.” Since right now is all that exists if you learn to let go just for right now you will transform your life.
SOCIAL ANXIETY One simple way is to try to do what you believe you cannot..ex don’t like to order food in restaurant and wait for someone to do it for you….say it and see that you can do it it will become easier with practice…Pretend you are sitting tall with confidence or standing tall like an action hero walk like they do for the moment or simply think of one of your favorite actors or actresses and like them assume your personal power and emote that energy…
ANXIETY ATTACK:
How to avoid an anxiety attack
Acting like a confident person can help because it interrupts the pattern that leads to anxiety.
Anxiety consists of two basic ingredients…how you hold your body and what you focus on in your mind. Move your body differently like a super hero and send an anti-anxiety message to brain. Change the focus of your mind at the same time and it’s like two punches working together.
Another way is to sing inside your head or out loud while walking like a superhero and anxiety can be conquered in about 20 seconds.
Positive psychology as pioneered by Dr. Martin Seligman would include the following:
- the study of people’s strengths values talents virtues and ability to experience pleasure.
- the use of the scientific method to determine how things go well or right in a person’s psychological make-up.
- the study of positive experiences, enduring psychological traits, positive institutions and positive relationships
- the study of how various methods attitudes and behaviors can increase a person’s level of well-being.
On a practical level, one can define positive psychology as insights and methods that help people to be happier… According to Dr. Seligman positive psychologists seek to find and nurture genius and talent and to make normal life more fulfilling rather than treat mental illness.
Sheryl says “In my practice of Reiki energy healing sessions which help a person to relax the body while allowing the client to become aware of their energy system or inner innate guidance system blockages either in perception or at the cellular level can be released and a person can become aware of what goals or dreams make them happy, can begin to make healthier choices perhaps viewing past situations people or events in a more positive way and dispelling a closed or limited mindset..so like positive psychology the goal should be to deal with creating what is in the here and now always drawing on your strengths and talents and creating more of what makes you peaceful joyful and comfortable in your own skin. In The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love, Sheryl shares methods and philosophies of how to know who you are as a spiritual and physical being so you can access the best of both worlds of Universal Energy.
Sheryl and Jonathan have explored the value and need to find the real reason any soul decides to have a physical life or reality and that is to feel at the deepest level possible happiness joy love and compassion and to differentiate those vital life enhancing emotions and energies so we may begin to flow through any state of being or emotion: pain sorrow anger jealousy fear or greed always returning to our natural state of Being which is to be peaceful and happy. We have explored practical easy way to solve problems and manifest our goals and dreams while deepening our relationships with those we love which hopefully should be expanded to include many more people than just your personal family or marital status. We have seen ways to grow in confidence self-esteem and to become our own hero learning to set aside judgment and be forgiving.
Jonathan wrote “I believe that human beings are born with a dream inside of them –an idea or picture of how they’d like their life to be and how they’d like to contribute to others. Whatever your inner calling may be, it needs to be nurtured. In this day and age there are many distractions…Like a fragile plant that needs the proper care to grow your deepest desires need the right fertilizer and help in order to blossom.”
Sheryl and Jonathan would hope that you begin your search for what really is valuable and desirable for you personally without the opinions and judgments of the outside world and see that when you begin to pursue a purpose or goal that makes you give of yourself to others and to allow yourself to receive love from others you will find that life is meaningful and happiness has always been within reach.
