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Happy Torture Free Holidays!
- Sue Elliott
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In today’s episode of “Healing from Within”, your host Sheryl Glick, author of The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love welcomes special guest, Sue Elliott, founder and Editor-in-Chief of Law of Attraction Magazine and originator of Heartfelt Holidays’, an audio program which provides the shifts necessary to find more peace, ease, and joy at the Holiday times when many people may be feeling depressed, anxious, fearful, irritated, or upset during the time of Thanksgiving to New Years. Sue is also a leading personal executive transformation coach.
Sue and Sheryl will discuss not only the pressures of meeting end of the year deadlines at work and dealing with family an friends who are also perhaps stressed and anxious about the holiday season, which should bring so much joy and love, but often overwhelms many people dealing with issues of their own personal growth and the issues of others.
Sue Elliott has helped thousands of people apply the wisdom of renowned personal-growth experts, including Dr. Wayne Dyer (author and PBS-TV star), Marianne Williamson (Congressional candidate and author of A Return to Love), Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements), Dr. Joe Dispenza (brain scientist), Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations with God), Denise and Meadow Linn (The Mystic Cookbook) and Dr. Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages).
Sues’ style of coaching is highly intuitive. She connects with angels, who then connect with YOUR angels to deliver messages to you (including those related to physical symptoms you're experiencing) — as well as to clear and harmonize any blocks to your joy and success.
Clients have experienced tremendous gains in their relationships, work life, joy levels, physical well-being, ease around money and so much more! Some experiences clients have shared with Sue was based on the ideas of
- letting go of the need to do everything on one’s own
- finding and releasing a childhood pattern that was slowly killing a marriage
- letting go of a lifelong pattern of walking on eggshells, hiding and doing darn-near anything to avoid provoking anger
- Comparing our real families and the memories of holidays with them- with the perfect families we’ve seen in movies and on TV.
- Beating ourselves up over gaining weight at the holidays.
- Keeping score in gift-giving
- Getting upset every time we have to stand in line
- Trying to buy the “perfect” gifts for people
Many of us find ourselves getting stuck in the worry habit from time to time, if not all the time, most especially around the holiday season.
To change this worry mindset
- You can shift your focus to your desired outcomes. Or, if that feels like too big of a stretch in the moment, since you've got some momentum going in your worries, then
- You can shift your attention to whatever you can find in the moment to appreciate, which might be something in your surroundings, like a beautiful tree outside your window, or something about your friends, your pets, your family, your life.
And, if you still feel as if you need to address the situation that you were worrying about, you might try asking yourself this question:
Sue tells us open-ended questions like this are very powerful, because they help you open up to unlimited possibilities. From that space, you can delegate to the Universe/God/the angels two things:
- The job of figuring out what it will take to transform the situation.
- The job of handling that transformation for you.
Sheryl goes on to ask Sue why she says it is torture to compare our real families and our memories of holidays with them- with the perfect families we’ve seen on TV and in movies. Sheryl mentions that many people are highly influenced by the media and in keeping up with The Jones’s and preconceived notions about what is acceptable and non acceptable, what is perfect and non perfect, good and bad- the duality of their thinking and the split of their soul or physical worlds.
In Sheryl’s new book, The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love, Sheryl has a passage discussing taking responsibility for our happiness and gives a quote from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar in a speech made by Cassius who says “The fault, dear Brutus Is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings.” This implies an it is the truth, that finding happiness, joy and comfort, at any time of the year, in any situation, comes from knowing ourselves from within, honoring ourselves for our strengths and our weaknesses and realizing that the outside world is not what creates a problem. It is our perception of ourselves and others that limits our capacity to view life in its most positive light. If we are a person who doesn’t find fault in others and moves past our personal obstacles with courage hope and faith, we will truly find peace and a state of wellbeing.
Many of us would like to feel successful. But, somehow, that feeling always remains just out of reach. Sue tells us this may be accomplished by believing what we consider “small” successes in life can be huge, if we simply shift our perspective. Large successes are not really large. In truth, they are a series of small successes, strung together — often over decades. Sue writes; “For instance, I had many, many small successes, like getting my first job as the copy editor of a magazine right out of college... learning how to choose a good balance of articles for a magazine while working as a managing editor in the ’80s... [and] becoming adept at creating new magazines over the course of my career... and on and on...So, would you be willing to join me in letting go of any remaining judgment over whether a success is “small” or “large”?”
Sue then goes on to say “when we take time to note and appreciate — and celebrate — our successes, however large or small, we do something very, very empowering: We bask in the energy of “I’m successful. I succeed.” We can even add those words to the process — not as an affirmation of something we’re striving for but haven't attained yet... but rather as powerful confirmation and recognition of something we already are!”
So we really feel the truth of it and so we steep in this energy a little longer. Think briefly about some of your successes. And then acknowledge them by saying out loud: “I’m successful. I succeed.”
Sheryl says we are also dealing with the concept of “perfection”. Many of us cannot accept anything less than what we consider to be a perfection response, a perfect life, a perfect reality, and we see challenges or being less than our perception of our perfect self a disaster, we fall apart and go into lower emotions such as anger fear, jealousy, greed and overall negativity. In her book, “The Living Spirit Answers for Healing and Infinite Love,” she suggests the avenue for finding happiness is possible only when we admit “not only are we not perfect, no one is perfect”. We are however responsible for our own actions, behaviors, and improving ourselves and in the imperfection that we may see at certain times in our life recognize that it offers us an opportunity for change and growth. Therefore, imperfection can be seen as perfection or the means and guidance necessary for desirable change.
Sue mention that as most people approach the New Year, the make New Year’s Resolutions- focusing on all the things they don’t have such as a loving relationship or a fit body. Sue explains where we are coming from when we make these resolutions and how we can overcome the judgments we inflict on ourselves. What we are coming from is, self-judgment, disappointment and frustration. As one looks forward into next year, would you do so with gentleness and compassion and an overall softening? Would you allow yourself to believe (or even hope) that everything really is unfolding perfectly — and that you are doing just fine?
Sue writes, “It’s true! You’re not late. You’re not running behind. You’re not off the mark in any way. Actually, you have been learning and growing and expanding, and the more you relax into that knowing, the easier it will be for you to move forward toward all of your desires in the New Year.”
Sue and Sheryl have taken a look at the many issues that engage our intention on a daily basis, not merely at the holiday time and how by developing our own inner state of positive thinking and action while letting go of negative intrusions by outside sources, we are able to create and manifest joy and health at the holiday season when old pressures or triggers of previous events attempt to unbalance and jeopardize the happy experience that is possible. As we discovered in today’s show, it is not perfection that we should strive for, or coveting what others do or have at the holiday time, but strive for developing ourselves each day in every situation to be the best that we can and accept and allow the universe and our lives to unfold exactly as they are meant to. Sue and Sheryl would hope that this holiday season finds you in good humor, and cheer, enjoying your own experience no matter what….therein lays your personal power to choose your own view of the season.
