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Life Is the Best Medicine
- Debra Landwehr Engle
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Welcome to “Healing From Within.” I am your host Sheryl Glick RMT author of A New Life Awaits: Spirit Guided Insights to Global Awakening which shares an intuitive empathic view that reveals the challenges and changes happening now are not merely the result of economic political societal events just a disconnect from our true being or soul wisdom. I am delighted to welcome Debra Landwehr Engle a repeat guest of the show and author of her new book Twenty a story of loss, renewal and the resurgence of the most valuable emotional need of the human soul- a love of self and life.
For listeners to hear the former show Debra and I shared on her award winning book Be the Light that You Are please go to my website www.sherylglick.com the radio show page March 2020
As listeners of” Healing From Within” are well aware Sheryl and her esteemed guests share intimate experiences and insights into the dual nature of physical and energetic life in the hopes of awakening to our intuition and higher consciousness, so we may know we are indeed more than our physical bodies or the material and ego based realities we often focus on and must once again realize we are interconnected to all life and energy universally. Knowing this makes it possible to deal with challenges in a more compassionate and purposeful way and helps us to personally and collectively morph into our best version of ourselves.
In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” Debra Landwehr Engle shares the fictional story of a young woman whose life is filled with loss and is unable to remember the magic and happiness of her childhood as she is overwhelmed by the sorrow of her adult life and how she once again mystically finds the joy beyond possessions, regrets and guilt, and reconnects with those she loves.
When Debra is asked to think back to her childhood and remember a person place event which may have signaled to her or the people around the lifestyle work and interests she might pursue as an adult she remembers a teacher who observed how much she loved the picture books and moved her to the next level of chapter books and how she was devoted to reading and learning about life. Teachers can make such small but valuable observations that help their students to find their true passions.
The main themes of Twenty explore the thoughts on the minds of women in midlife: the world, weariness of past hurts and losses, a lack of passion about what lies ahead, spiritual crisis. But also the strength to be drawn from family and friends, romantic love in the last half of life, the ever possible chance for renewal. From deep despair to perfect equanimity, with lovely moving moments, this novel is a parable for empty nesters or those seeking a new path forward in the second half of their life journey.
Sheryl suggests to Debra that suicide despair and loneliness are so much a part of our modern -day life and asks if Twenty offers ways the main character Meg discovered that helped her solve some of her life- threatening problems? The main character of the book Meg lost her mother and father, married, had a child, lost her child and was divorces and now was having a mid- life crisis and Debra writes, “But at fifty-five years old, without Rose my daughter and Mama to care for, and with a yard full of plants that I can’t bring back to health, I feel like my job is done.
Debra tells us something of the characters and how they are connected to swirls of color and air that brush by the face of a sensitive child an intuitive child?
Debra writes, “ I still remember when I was five years old and we were out in the back yard….I helped Mama handing her the heavy damp shirts from the laundry laundry basket . Suddenly she stopped, holding a clothespin in the midair and said to me, “They’re here, Meg Can you feel them all around you? I was wearing my favorite blue gingham pinafore with the kitten applique and a white bow in my hair….. and I remember nodding my head and closing my eyes. I felt a brush of air against my cheek and ankles, then a beam of light warming the right side of my face. But I could also see and smell them, something that had never happened. They were like swirls of perfumed air wrapping themselves around me. “I see them,” I said. I remember the startled look on Mama’s face. “What do they look like?’ she asked me. “They’re pink and yellow and blue and green,” I said. I felt peaceful. Whatever I saw felt familiar to me, like a memory. They’re tickling me, I said and Mama laughed the tinkly chime of a laugh she had before everything changed. Don’t ever forget them,” Mama said. “They’re always with you.”
Sheryl tells Debra that the chakra system of humans are wheels of energy and life that connect souls in spirit to those in a physical life and those souls represent their most passionate aspects of their personality in the color that sensitives or mediums pick up when interacting with the energy of spirit.
Debra tells us the inspiration for Twenty began when she woke up one morning in July of 2012 and remembered a vivid dream she’d had that night. I didn’t recall a lot of the dream, just a few key details. For instance, I’d dreamed about green pearl-like tablets that caused a gentle death 20 days after taking them, about seeing an ordinary terrycloth towel up close and being mesmerized by the beauty of it, and about one of my brothers, who lives in Seattle—although I couldn’t recall any particulars about his role in the dream.
I immediately felt I was supposed to write a book based on the dream, but all I really had to work with was the premise: the green pearls. From there, the story started to emerge. And after lots of fits and starts—and finding a way to work Seattle and the terrycloth towel into the story—it eventually became the story of Meg and Joe.
Debra tells us Meg, the main character, is based on a composite of many women she knows, with some of herself thrown in for good measure. While Meg makes a decision to potentially end her life—a decision that most of us wouldn’t make—Debra think her thoughts and emotions may be more common than we realize.
As Debra tells people about the book and the emotional pain Meg is in, she always see them nodding, with a look of recognition in their eyes. Almost everyone has struggled with the loss of loved ones, a painful divorce or a feeling of “what now?” Almost everyone has feelings of regret or guilt about the past, or a sense of loneliness from time to time. We have the blessing of living long lives these days, but I think many people experience moments of acute emotional pain when they question what they’re going to do with all those years and whether this is the place they want to be. This story gives voice to those fears, which people don’t often share.
In the book, Meg is coming to terms with her past when she believes she may only have 20 days to live. That was the fascinating thing about this story. Even though Meg believes she may die, this is not suicide in the way we normally think about it. She has taken action to potentially end her life. But now she has 20 days to face up to that decision and all the pain from the past that brought her to it.
Debra wrote what she thought Meg was thinking,” I examined my own life and tried to put myself in her shoes. On every level, I realized, I’d be cleaning house. I’d spend time each day literally emptying out drawers and hauling boxes to Goodwill. But I’d also be cleaning house on an inner level. When we face our mortality, we have the opportunity to review our life and see what amends we need to make. So, as the characters started to take shape, I found ways to tell the story of Meg’s external housecleaning and her internal one, too.
In the story, Meg doesn’t know whether the pearls she took are still potent and whether they’ll still work. This doubt is essential to the story. It’s essential to her journey because, if she knew for certain that she was going to die, she’d have to make peace with that and put her house in order. There would be a finality to the process. But since she doesn’t know for sure what will happen after the 20 days, she’s preparing for life as much as she is for death.
That’s what makes her relationship with her ex-husband Joe so bittersweet. Just at the moment when she might have a second chance for love, she may lose that chance because of her own actions. All of the “what-ifs” bring her to a level of self-forgiveness that she probably couldn’t have reached otherwise. And it leads to the essential question that’s the same for all of us: Can we experience happiness in our lives no matter how long we’re here?
The book comes with a study guide and discussion questions. This is a book that will truly touch people’s hearts, and I think it can spark some great debate, too. For instance, even though the pearls that Meg takes are mythical, they raise questions about suicide and end-of-life issues. Some of the questions in the guide get to the heart of spiritual beliefs. Others address the deep heartache of losing a child or a parent. And others speak to romance at mid-life and what it’s like to rediscover your passions when they’ve been dormant for a while.
The characters in the book are ordinary, decent people, doing the best they can. I think readers will be able to identify with them, which will generate lively discussions in book clubs, women’s groups, church groups—anywhere that people gather to talk about what’s important in life. The pain and joy in the story exist side by side, just as they do in our lives. But in the end, it’s all about seeing every moment as the gift that it is.
Sheryl shares with Debra that she always has amazing coincidences or synchronicity with my guests and the first one I noticed was Meg’s mother in the book used the barn for her antiques and furniture repair business. I ran a tag sale business for years loved antiques and always thought I might have a children’s shop with antiques. Mama in the book did yoga and had great balance when walking and in all her activities. She was a sensitive spirited soul and then Meg married Joe Mitchell and I have a nephew Mitchell. Meg your main characters had curly hair and faded freckles from childhood as did I and my daughter. Dr. Edelman in his wisdom and kindness reminded me of our family doctor who used to come to my house when I was sick with strep throat or stomach virus and give me a shot of penicillin..now they only use pills. Another character is Larry Willis the family lawyer and S
This the perfect time to read Twenty. It relate to what we're going through in the world right now. Perhaps in trying to die Meg learned some important truths about eternal life and Debra writes, “And no more death. I don’t know for sure what it’s going to be like on the other side, but I’m pretty sure flowers aren’t going to wither and gasp in the heat. Perhaps people aren’t going to be bullying and murdering each other and plotting new senseless ways to make people suffer. I will not miss this place, I said over and over again, like a mantra as I painted. I will not miss violence and ingrowing toenails. I will not miss rude clerks at the grocery store and people who cut you off on the freeway. I will not miss famine and greed and hate. I will not miss crazy politicians and all of societies stupid rules. I’m going to a better place, and I will not miss this. Then I sank into a heap on the floor and cried, because I hadn’t convinced myself at all. No matter how much I tried to ignore it, everything keeps getting more beautiful.”
Sheryl says, “As a hospice volunteer for eight years I discovered that many patients were focused quietly on what they had enjoyed in their lives and less focused on anger or blame. Of course there were those who had great fear about what would happened when they died, but still were grateful for having experienced a physical life. I’d like to say I guess it’s everyone and everyplace and every experience for I feel nothing in life is random. Perhaps we are born with an itinerary for our soul to have each and every experience challenge so we can make choices and learn from our successes and failures as our soul energy gathers memories and wisdom and we learn to love ourselves and others and life in general if we are really paying attention to how our thoughts and actions create our life as we draw to ourselves the energy we create with those thoughts and either live in joy and positivity or pain and suffering.
So acceptance of Self and the nature of man and the universal force of life or creation brings peace and well being even if there is sickness pain or death as it is perceived by many in this time and place Others know there is no death and consciousness survives physical death. Debra wrote, “Once someone asked me what I would miss about my life if I died. It struck me as an odd question. It’s a little like asking someone in solitary confinement, but I think what’s on the other side is so remarkable that the last thing I’ll do is be pining over my life.
Readers of Twenty may want to take away with them after reading the book that
Meg the main character in the book taking care of her mother who had dementia tells us she asked her mother what she wanted done with the many ribbons she had won at the State Fair in the flower competition over the years and her mother said, “Oh all those ribbons, she said. “The ribbons don’t matter much…never did. The important part was growing the flowers and somehow being a part of all that beauty. And entering them in the competition felt like a way to share them. Those ribbons are no tribute to my talent….They’re about what nature can do.”
In other words participating in life with passion and love allows you to see the beauty goodness and gratefulness for living a physical life even though there are many challenges to overcome.
We thank Debra Engle for her sensitive story of growing up and growing wise in the nature of soul life and how physical life challenges are the great stimulus to increasing personal awareness and the return to the true nature or divine soul birthright which is love. The connection we are able to make to nature man and Spirit when we are in a state of conscious knowing that life is truly a gift is what life is all about.
In summarizing today’s episode of Healing From Within Debra Landwehr Engle has shared in her book Twenty the story of witnessing life and loss and trying to understand purpose and love, perhaps hoping to end suffering for a relative who is at the end of life and might wish for a little assistance to transition as Dr. Edelman the longtime doctor for Meg’s Mother said to Meg when he gave her twenty green- gel like pills that she could peacefully help someone at the end of life painlessly cross over. End of life issues are receiving more attention now that we have an aging population.
Meg expresses it in the book this way…Dr. Edelman smiled, “I know it seems like you’re playing God, “ he said. “But we play God every day when we give people medications or surgeries to keep them alive. Sometimes the more loving thing is to let them go. This doctor had taken care of Meg’s mom for many years and always appreciated that she brought him flowers when she came for an office visit. Love makes people try to do the best for others and sometimes it’s hard to know that that is. Well Meg never used those pills for her mother but five years after her mother passed she was at a low point in her life and decided to take the pills. What she discovered was her life beyond the tragedies of divorcing a man she truly loved losing her mom and dad, seeing her mom suffer from dementia and the ultimate loss of her daughter Rose was that her life had held the magic of spirit and her joy was perhaps even greater than her sorrow and loss. It may not be how long we live but how much we have participated and shared love and kindness.”
Debra and Sheryl would have you begin to reflect on the many experiences you have had and try to see them as puzzle pieces to the unfolding of the many spiirutal gifts you brought into this world that you may have been unaware of and now begin to see the people places and experiences as the very necessary parts of your life bringing it all together with understanding acceptance and gratitude in the end for what can be seen as a wonderful life, when you truly realize your own self-worth, and how you were affected by, and affected others in the course of that life.
