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The-Choice-To-Love-Is-Yours
- Sherianna Boyle
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In today’s episode of “Healing from Within”, your host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love welcomes Sherianna Boyle author of The Four Gifts of Anxiety, The Conscious Parenting Guide to Childhood Anxiety and the book we will talk about today, in depth Choosing Love.
Sherianna Boyle, a former school psychologist currently Psychology Professor, Energy Therapy Practitioner, Yoga and Meditation Instructor will help us to see love in a whole new light and more expansive way helping us let go of fear, everyday stresses, and lead us in the direction of experiencing joy and abundance. We may see how by connecting to ourselves and aligning to the Universal Life force, we begin to take responsibility for our self- growth and follow ways to find our authentic selves.
Sherianna wrote “My upbringing is an example of what it’s like to live with fear. I was raised by parents who had been terribly abused and abandoned by their own parents….Mom would reveal stories of her childhood: specifically, what it was like to live with a paranoid schizophrenic . My mom’s mom may have been around, but my mom had been abandoned for most of her life..As I listened to her on our long country walks through the cemetery, across the stream, through the baseball field, I realized that those consistent walks in nature where the love vibration runs high was where our wounds were healed. My father’s mother died when he was six and his Dad died from drinking when he was 13. He later told me of the horrific physical and emotional abuse he endured at the hands of his father. I was fortunate to have parents who loved me, however the love they lacked for themselves made it challenging to recognize love in my everyday life. Growing up my heart became closed off by fear.”
Sherianna works with families and children with anxiety. The confusion around love and how our body tells us what we are feeling must be discussed. Our confusion or the influences of society that put conditions on love creates anxiety for a sensitive open hearted child….
Love wants you to be aware of and feel your emotions. Fear is a state of non-feeling.
Love Fear
Slow deep breathing as you would breath Shallow quick breathing
out in nature Numbness
Feeling Judging
Listening Separating
Connecting Blaming Others
Focusing on You Tuning Out: running away from problems
Tuning Into the present moment
Sheryl says… “Anxiety or fear is also fostered by the concept of “Perfectionism” as espoused by parents to their children and fostered in a society that values intense competition and material success, puts tremendous pressure on everyone at all levels of society, which ultimately leads to addictions of all sorts: drug addiction alcoholism shopping excessive concern with quality of one’s health and overuse of medical treatments exercise nutritional concerns and so on and on….”
In Sheryl’s book “The Living Spirit”, Sheryl addressed this modern day malady and offered one way to counterbalance these issues…. “Energy healing including Reiki is an excellent tool to open and balance the chakras or energy points of the body. This ancient hands on method relaxes the body so the person can connect to his or her energy flow for the purpose of finding balance peace harmony and an understanding of their essence…releasing pain anxiety fears enlarging a person’s capacity to develop intuitive gifts which we all possess.”
It would be good to become aware of defense mechanisms or the coping mechanisms you developed to deal with traumatic events which you were unable to process or understand when you were younger. Checking out or nodding your head in agreement which many people do is a defense mechanism often activated when you find yourself freezing or running away from your feelings. These are responses that typically happen when you are in fight or flight (fear based) response. It could also be a sign that you are attempting to fit in. Perhaps you don’t understand what is happening, but have learned to nod your head to protect yourself from feeling uncomfortable humiliated or discouraged. Like a child who sucks their thumb or twirls their hair perhaps… EX Have noticed many political people use this mechanism of head is bobbing up and down when faced with negative commentaries.
Some of your current behaviors and approaches to life might be blocking you from choosing love. Some blocks are a result of experiences interpretations or perceptions beliefs and some are inherited (Dr Bradley Nelson author of The Emotion Code says, by beginning to understand the label we have in relation to the Experience or feeling we are having, we can get closer to our feelings and to love rather than fear.
Labels (Descriptions) Experience(Feelings)
I have anxiety I experience worry and doubt
I am exhausted I experience nervousness when I feel out of control
I have a bad back I feel overwhelmed and carry a lot of responsibility
I can’t sleep I feel restless and agitated when my body is quiet
Focus on You and Your Intention to Love: Remember Buddha “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe deserve your love and affection.”
An intention is an energetic force that lives in you…setting intentions is one way to consciously state your desire to do something connect your energy to the universe activating the higher vibrational energy within so you may allow yourself to become a deliberate creator. Part of your intention is to choose love.
GOAL GOAL STATED AS INTENTION
I want to finish school by 2016 I choose to feel knowledgeable to make
Decisions about my future
I want to learn how to meditate I feel drawn to people and resources for
Meditation
Make more money I notice how generous and abundant I am.
Since love grows when being in the moment, Mark Beeman, a cognitive neuroscientist and leading investigator of insight and creative cognition found that neurological activity in the brain actually increases when the brain is in a resting state, not when we are analyzing and intellectualizing everything. So setting up a comfortable classroom with stimulating visual experiences and allowing for children to imagine and rest in comfort instead of fear or unrealistic expectations is most benefical…Listening to their input and suggestions, and implementing them along with required curriculum..Letting them learn to set intentions in the best way as we discussed above…Thinking with caring and respect for themselves and others, and finding their interests while praising what they are accomplishing, not what others expect of them.
Sheryl says “As a classroom teacher years ago in an inner city school, I was given a special education class UPPER Graders from 12-16 years of age.Many of them could not read so I purchased copies of The Wizard of Oz for each of them with colored illustrations. Each afternoon we would read a portion together. We did art work, bulletin boards, wrote letters to the characters in the book, and talked about the feelings of the characters, and how they found home to be within their heart and love always there. Some of them improved their reading skills, but all of them found a clearer understanding of friendship and love…”
Sherianna has written a book called Choosing Love. As Sherianna began to see love in a more all encompassing new light, knowing love isn’t even just for romantic partners or family members, but a Universal Energy that unites us all and is the glue that holds you together, pulls you through the spirit of acceptance, the wisdom of letting go, the art of receiving understanding, and the way to get in touch with your deepest fears and everyday stresses, so you may transcend the physical world and reach into your true soul being. The challenge is that most of us have been conditioned to think of love only as a feeling to give or receive, not as an energy to experience all day, every day. As a result we find ourselves chasing love in order to find that feeling…HOWEVER Love is with you all the time. Choosing love is a way to release stress, remove obstacles, wash away negativity, release toxic memories, sharpen your awareness, forgive, be present, let go, manifest your dreams…..
Sherianna writes, “Love is not only something you send to or receive from others: it is an energy you connect to and experience. Think of love as formless, timeless limitless, boundless abundant energy swirling around within and around your body..” It is only subconscious fears that thwarts our efforts to choose love. Choosing love aligns you with your soul: the part of you that remembers where you came from (love). Releasing any conflict or limits you have put on love, past conditioning, or the way your beliefs have been shaped, have wired us into thinking rather than feeling people, which leads to gauging love by the feedback and feelings of others. This leads to the belief that love is outside of us and we try to fix or improve ourselves so we may be worthy of love. But..True deep personal growth rarely comes from doing..Love is a state of being that thrives on willingness, self-awareness, and honor.
Sheryl says, “As a hands on energy practitioner or channel of this energy of love using the Japanese energy system Reiki we are downloading the healing energies of Source, the Divine, God or eternal life which holds the whole history of creation and evolution…Therefore we are energy soul beings having a physical life.”
Universal love is respectful of who you are and what you need. Like removing weeds from the garden without disturbing the root system of a plant love releases negative emotions while supporting your intuition and ability to sort things through…It also helps you discard Love lies which are self limiting beliefs that can harden the energy around your heart making love obscure and elusive.
All the many beliefs many people have about love including, whether you either have love or you don’t, you have to wait for love to come to you, or love isn’t for everyone, love means taking care of someone else, if your family didn’t show you or tell you that they loved you then you pretty much grew up without love, love hurts, love shows up only when you have money, you need love,it is rare to find love..ALL ARE LIES..THE TRUTH IS LOVE IS NOT COMING FROM SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE YOURSELF, LOVE IS INSIDE YOU. PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES ONLY REFLECT WHAT YOU FEEL INSIDE.
It is important for children to know that love is within their heart of soul essence, and then help them learn to feel and sense energy vibrations.. so they may be aware of their total being. Concentration only on the physical world allows for fears to become dominant while engaging energy or soul allows for support: a view of a higher reality which comforts and supports all decisions that have to be made without fear. For example, Love is a high energy vibration from the heart uplifting and joyful, while fear is a low vibration energy which often makes the head and body feels uncomfortable All emotions are made of energy. Beyond the five senses are other senses which include sense of time and space…hunger, thirst pressure blood flow tension energetic movement psychic intuition and others. A simple way to begin to feel energy is to simply close your eyes and put your palms up…..you might feel tingling your body may relax you may take a deeper breath or feel a slight electrical buzz in your body. Your skin cells are highly receptive like little antennas but you have to slow down and pay attention to the energy around you given off by people places and events…
Sheryl says, “ In the past and even today many people wish that children be seen and not heard. I myself am delighted to be in the energy and openness of most children and find that they offer their wisdom and interpretation of what’s happening without a filter or pre-conceived restrictions. Many adults already conditioned to see life according to the rules of society don’t want to be reminded of the freedom that children express effortlessly….so they shut them down.”
Parents may think they are doing their children a service by pointing out how everything must be handled, but actually less input and constant direction by parents, and simply allowing the children to experience life on their own terms leads to the development of more positive and confident healthier adult later on.
Sherianna offers many exercises and meditations to further open your heart. So we know that this process is ongoing and requires effort and consistency in order to be most effective. She also tells us about opening the heart and how to heal from past experiences so we can empower our inner voice and manifest a full and fearless life.
Sherianna shares a quote by Martin Luther King… “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” Sheryl senses our world has forgotten that and the terrorist attacks and renewed racial conflict in our country at the moment are arising from people living with fear and anger, blaming others for the lack of love within themselves. When Love is absent from the heart it is often because we are living in the past and traumatized by past experiences.”
Sherianna offers a MEDITATION FOR CLARITY:
Take a moment to find a comfortable seated position.
Relax Shoulders and loosen your jaw so separate front and back teeth.
Slightly part your lips and breathe in through your nose filling your belly and slowly breath out through your nose
As you breath, notice the sensations in your body and on your skin.
Visualize the ocean tide..on your inhale let your energy release into the ocean…On your exhale allow the waves to come toward you and wash you towards shore.
Do 3 breath cycles, then on your next breath, inhale release any confusion you have about love into the ocean. On exhale, draw in clarity.
Sheryl would say, Facing life and any challenges with a good attitude, remembering that this moment to will pass and we will be able to create something new and advantageous for our happiness, maintain balance and a good disposition thinking well of others and yourself rather than going into negative vibrations or emotions of anger fear blame self-doubt, and continue to trust in a higher power or Universal Source that has your best interest at heart.
Sheryl and Sherianna have looked at the most basic and most important emotion in the Universe…Love which is the healing force for so many spiritual and physical life issues. When we Choose Love and embrace ourselves and others in Oneness and Unity, all negativity and fear fall away. We draw to ourselves the people and experiences that feed our heart and soul…It is the simple “Law of Attraction.”What is given in the name of love comes back to you in the name of love…Sherianna wrote “Here is the amazing thing I have learned about love. It is highly intelligent and has many purposes. Not only does love show you what to release (through your experiences and feelings) and how to release ( by noticing reflecting and choosing), it builds resiliency by making you feel healthy and strong and by feeding your vitality.”
Mahatma Gandi wrote “Where there is love there is life.” We might take this to mean without love and a song in our heart and a view of hope and beauty and kindness there is just an unconsciousness or unawakened state of sleep waking: not really knowing how to value yourself or others and missing the mark, or chance, to grow, evolve, and flourish in light instead of the shadows of fear and darkness. The choice is always yours to make, but, you must set up the conditions and energy practice that supports your intentions and goals.
Sherianna and Sheryl would hope that today is a new day to begin to create the best version of yourself and begin simply by engaging that which brings a smile to your face purpose and love to your love and turn away from those who encourage you to blame others for a means to justify their own self-worth. Value your kinder instincts and humanity remembering we are all human, but must strive to be more human by following our best instincts and intuition.
