Healing from Within

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Using Sensitivity to Discover Your Inner Rock

• November 27, 2023
• Tamika S. Thomas
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Welcome to Healing From Within. I am your host Sheryl Glick RMT medium, author of the newest book in a trilogy A New Life Awaits: Spiritual Insights to Support Global Awakening which shares stories and messages from Spirit that show us our greatest challenges are not economic political or societal but often simply a disconnect from our inner soul awareness. Today we are delighted to welcome Tamika S. Thomas author of The Sensitive Stone showing us that many people who are seen as too sensitive have an amazing ability to constantly overextend themselves to help others through their trials and tribulations. They work too hard and exhaust themselves sometimes succumbing to emotional stress anxiety or anger issues. But once they master their own will to be balanced and strong, the good they do in the world is admirable.

Tamika as listeners of Healing from Within well know over the years, my amazing insightful and knowledgeable authors share intimate and intuitive stories that help us unravel many of the mysteries of the duality of life, both energetic and physical . We seek to answer age old questions. Who are we? Where did life come from? And What happens at the end of our physical life?

In today’s episode of Healing from Within Tamika S. Thomas will share the nature of sensitivity as the gift and challenge it can be for those who love deeply and are their own unique group of helpers or spiritual messengers. We thank Tamika for joining us on Healing From Within to discuss her own growing awareness of energy and how to apply Universe laws to enhance and improve human life for all sensitive people which in some respects is everyone.

When Tamika is asked to think back to her childhood and remember a person place or event that may have influenced her life direction and interests as she grew into the adult version of herself Tamika tells us she was born a preemie—breech birth—and a little doctor had to rush in to safely unwrap the umbilical cord from around her tiny neck. Though she made it, she has been fighting to express her somebodyness ever since. In the beginning, she developed slower than others. Apparently, it was ammunition for people to spit venom whenever they needed to feel good about themselves. When there was an audience around, they went for the Grammy! You’re stupid! You will never amount to anything! You’re nothing and you will never be! That’s why you’re in Special Ed! Those words killed me inside. It felt like I was the only one being ridiculed simply because, mentally, I did not develop as quickly as others early in life.

Sheryl says the traumas of early life often leave an imprint on our bodies and minds and until we realize they are but a memory of that past time and place and don’t hold power over us now in this moment, can we be free to create new realities for ourselves. Sheryl shares as she often has related synchronicities or coincidences with her guests that her twin granddaughter had much the same birth experience and while not a preemie was much smaller than her sister and if the doctor had not intervened using great skill, a caesarian section might have been needed even though Sheryl had been sending Reiki energy and prayers throughout her daughter’s pregnancy for a natural birth.

Some of the characteristics of a sensitive and a sensitive might not always be an empath

The Too Sensitive Chart Telltale signs you might be too sensitive

• You can be guilted into doing something you are against
• You can be guilted out of something you are passionate about
• Negative opinions about you affect you
• You may even find yourself constantly explaining and defending yourself
• You constantly offer to help when it is not asked of you
• You lose yourself trying to see the good in others
• You spend way too much time trying to get others to understand your point of view
• Compliments given to you feel awkward or undeserving
• You allow people to mooch off you
• It is hard to say “No” and stick to it
• Your “no” to someone else makes your “yes” to yourself seem bad and selfish
• You overextend and exhaust yourself for others
• You believe others are more deserving of what they desire than you are
• You give what you barely have and even go into debt to help another
• You feel guilty for spending money or time on yourself
• You can’t find your heart Oh, look! There it is! It’s on your sleeve
• Your superhero cape is dirty because you never take it off
• You don’t appreciate the beauty in being beautifully you

Tamika writes, “In the eyes of the many, people who are too emotional are coined too sensitive. They do not have a backbone and need to have a thick skin. While it is true, we are too sensitive, it is also true that we have this amazing ability to constantly overextend ourselves to help others through their trials and tribulations. We love too hard, lose ourselves, succumbing to emotional and mental instability such as having meltdowns, anxiety, and anger issues.

Some of the patterns that can lead to detrimental habits that can harm us are the too sensitive part comes in when we continuously exceed our capacity even when we know we are being depleted. We don’t realize that this depletion takes a toll on us. For instance, let’s say that you have a car full of gas. You’re driving everyone all over the place without stopping to refuel your tank. You see the gas getting low. Do you stop to get gas, or do you keep driving until everyone is home? You probably would stop to get gas, otherwise you’d be stuck in the middle of nowhere. You wouldn’t know how you were going to get home. No one would be aware you are in trouble, so chances are no one would be able to assist you. Would you make it home? Eventually, but look at the toll it would take if you did not take heed to your gas running on empty. When we do not take the time to “refuel,” our energy runs on “empty.” We cannot be our best selves, which leaves us feeling lost, confused, and left behind. Do you see where the dangerous part comes in?

There are 6 types of sensitives.

First you must know the 9 traits of a sensitive.

THE SENSITIVE TRAITS

The worrying one You worry about everything all the time.

The introverted superhero You stay to yourself but will dash out of your comfort zone to help others.

The somewhere-in-between one You want to fit in, but you also want to be yourself. This trait causes you to constantly explain the kind of person you are to satisfy others.

The good and bad news one You hesitate to speak your good news, fearing that others will feel bad about their unfortunate situations.

The lose-an-opportunity one You hold off on “rising” if it affects other people’s shine. You may also inconvenience yourself so that others feel more comfortable.

The peacemaker You expect everyone to be accountable in a situation for the sake of fairness. However, this can make situations worse.

The “bright side” guilty one You feel guilty for always looking on the “bright” side.

The Sensitive Frenemy The sensitive frenemy is someone who will do anything for attention, even if it means putting a friend in harm’s way. This is the most dangerous trait of all!

The Judgy One Sometimes when we are being compassionate with someone, we can become frustrated or pushy if we don’t see them becoming the best versions of themselves. We can become hurtful or controversial without realizing it

How exactly did we get this sensitive? Well, I can certainly say that we did not just wake up one morning and decide, “I know what I wanna be. I wanna be too sensitive. I want to go above and beyond for everyone and lose myself in the process.”

There are several reasons why people have become sensitive ones.

Some sensitives have low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem need someone else to make them feel special. They need to feel needed, liked, and validated. Over time it can become a habit that they won’t be able to break even when they know that they should.

Another reason sensitive ones become sensitive is because of the perception of how we should treat others. At a young age, most of us learned that we should treat people as kindly and as compassionately as we were treated or as we would like to have been treated. And though we were born with attributes that we used for the benefit of others, we forgot to use those attributes on ourselves.

Being kind is admirable but we must realize that just because we are kind, others do not have to be. But kindness makes the world a better place, doesn’t it? In your and my opinion, yes. But this is just our opinion. If everyone were kind without a level of balance, we’d all believe that the word “no” was unkind just because others may feel bad about us saying “no” to them. Whether we feel it is best for the world, everyone does not have to be kind.

Kindness is more of an individual and moral choice than it is an obligation.

Sheryl says it seems we must learn that not everyone is on the same path and we must accept everyone as they are even though we are not that way. Allow, accept, and surrender and hold your own personal power truth and be free of judgment and controlling others.

A sensitive must find their inner rock. You cannot become the rock you need to become if you do not know and accept your worth. You will not be able to continue this journey if you do not actualize your self-worth. You will not implement the practices or enforce them if you do not truly know what it means to be worthy.

Though many of us really are too emotional, that is not the extent of what being too sensitive is. Being a Sensitive One is like being a superhero with a backwards power. We help people heal. We do and say things to encourage them. We even make them feel like they are safe enough to breathe, laugh, and live. We help them feel as if they can conquer their issues and work toward their goals. Do you know the amount of strength it takes to do that? Go on. Pat yourself on the shoulder. You deserve it

When people say we are too sensitive, they are most likely referring to our emotional state. They are referring to our outbursts, meltdowns, cold shoulders, and withdrawals. And it may be that we have good reasons for our emotional imbalance, but that does not mean we cannot take the time to learn how to control it. The Sensitive Stone is not just about how to stop going above and beyond our capacity for others. That was only part of it. It was, just as important, about how to undo the damage caused by our superhero-super sensitive nature. It is about how to calm our inner selves after the storm that had brewed for so long.

We can learn to control our emotions. From Tamika’s own experience and the experiences of others, she has come to understand that something that triggers us is powered by the belief we have in it. Our belief in this “thing” has the power to persuade or dissuade us. It can encourage or discourage us. It can free or imprison us. It can make us stand still or help us move forward. It can inspire us, but it can also destroy us. This thing can make us lose or find ourselves. The most amazing thing about this thing is that its power can grow or weaken. This thing is called “WORDS.”

You may have heard the phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That applies to those who do not believe in the words people use to hurt them. Just like in the song, “Let it go!” There is a beautiful phrase that I use very often to brush off the cold words people say to me, “the cold doesn’t bother me anyway.”

You see, words can trigger us when we give them power. How many times has someone told you something you did not believe? When you did not believe the meaning in their words, they held no power. The power in words is measured by the level of belief we have in them. Also, the level of importance and power in the words depends on who speaks them. For instance, if a stranger says that you are nothing, it may hold no value. If someone whose words you value utters those same words, it can devastate you.

When we are affected by the moods of others, we must consider that sometimes their moods are not necessarily about us We just happen to be around them when they are in their feelings, and we get caught in the crossfire

Whether or not someone is being mean to us personally or because they are just in a mood, we must accept that people do not pick their moods; it just happens that way

At some point in my relationship with my ex, I had to act Instead of waiting for him to come around, I decided to keep my distance from himI made a habit of doing it to the point it became second nature Unfortunately, it just made us grow further apart until we eventually ended It hurt for quite some time, but time healed that wound

The thing about moods… Sometimes when people are in a mood, we do not allow them to deal with their issues on their own

We want to help them so that they are not in a bad mood, but this can make things worse Sometimes people just need to be alone without our interference It’s kind of like when a child has to sit in a corner and think about their behavior That is what others have to do Sit and think about their mood and why they are in one in the first place They need time to absorb what they are feeling before they can resume being the people we know and care for

We are all unpredictable beings. Our moods change with our circumstances. We won’t always agree with someone’s mood swings. But we can learn to get out of the way and let others be

Tamika are some tips you can give to those who may feel too sensitive or others may call too sensitive?

One tip might be…..When you are speaking to someone about their problems, you can envision that each person has their very own basket in which you will allow their contents (issues, concerns, and thoughts) to reside

Imagine that each basket is a different size depending on the level of importance this person has in your life

Once their basket is filled with their contents, that is the extent to which your capacity should allow

This means that while you are engaging in anyone’s situation, you can still be present, but you are limiting how much of yourself you are investing

It is also important to imagine that each basket has a lid

Once you have invested your capacity, put the lid on the basket so that none of their contents leak out into your daily life

The point of that exercise is not to disregard someone else’s problems

The point is to not always be available because we won’t know how and when to turn it off

We must be able to measure our capacity

We must be able to separate our contents from someone else’s

This is how we keep other people’s contents from being attached to us

We can still listen

We can still understand, and we can still offer advice

But with practice, this can be an effective way to establish a safe emotional distance

Also Here are a few things that helped me on my journey. I am sure they can help you too:

Talk to someone: Everybody needs someone sometimes. When we are down and out, it is important to tell someone.

Choose the ears that will listen. While it is important to let in on how you are feeling, it is equally important to pay attention to the people you are expressing yourself to. Just because you start expressing your feelings does not mean you should start pouring your heart out to anyone willing to listen. Not everyone is a candidate to listen to your problems. Your problems may become worse. People tend to get annoyed if they feel you are in the habit of needing them too much.

Seek professional help. When we are battling with our emotions, we don’t know whether to go up or down. We are everywhere, but nowhere. Seeking a therapist, anger management counselor, or anyone in the field of mental and emotional healing can help you gain the control you need to live a fulfilling life.

Talk to the ones you are at odds with. Sometimes people do not know that you are hurt by something they’ve said or done. Letting people know that you are hurt or have an issue with them is one of the best ways to find resolve.

Calming tools. There are many tools available to help you work on your emotions These tools help you regulate your breathing and can offer immediate relief when you are experiencing anxiety. They are specially created to lead you back to a mentally, emotionally, and spiritually calming state The prices of calming tools vary but there is most likely one that can fit your budget without breaking the bank!

Invest in counseling Apps. Sometimes it is hard to talk to a therapist Thanks to modern technology there are AI (artificial intelligence) applications that you can download

There is always a more productive way to blow off steam without causing things to get out of hand. A few things might include:

Taking a walk. If possible, remove yourself from a toxic environment. The sun kissing your skin or the wind blowing in your face can take away the focus of what it is that is troubling you. ~ Sitting for a while and relaxing. Sometimes if you are not in the position to take a walk, you could just sit and relax while imagining walking along a beautiful beach. Imagine the water softly swishing as you watch the waves rocking back and forth, enticing you to jump into the water!

Taking deep breaths. Deep breaths tell your mind that you will be okay. It prevents you from losing control and can prevent you from having an anxiety attack.

Having a nice calming cup of tea. A hot cup of herbal tea can relax your mood. It is something that may be easy to come by and can be healing not only to your mind but also your body.

Taking a warm bath. Few activities are more soothing than hop[1]ping into a hot shower or sinking into a nice hot bath. Start by lighting a lightly scented candle and take in the aroma. Play soft music as you relax your mind, body, and soul. Soaking away your troubles is more rewarding than exploding.

Crying it out. Sometimes we do not allow ourselves to release our pain through our tears because we don’t want to look “weak.” Crying is not a sign of weakness. There is strength in tears because tears can be detoxing. Sometimes it can be the medicine we need in our lives.

Some of us, however, believe that if we start crying, we will never stop. My therapist told me something that I will forever hold dear, “in all my years of counseling, I have never known anyone to cry forever. It’s all right to cry.”

Tamika shows us that sensitive people learn to control their emotions and take back their power. When we are too sensitive, we compromise our wellbeing: We begin to let ourselves go because we stop paying attention to our appearance. We may lose or gain too much weight. We may sound different, speaking sluggishly or too excitedly. We may become withdrawn and have no desire to participate in activities that once interested us. We may become angrier or sadder. We stop recognizing who we are.

Being sensitive does not only affect our wellbeing. It also affects the wellbeing of the relationships we have with others because:

• People stop recognizing us.
• People begin to see us in a different light.
• People may only see the “dark” in us.
• People start believing that we are just angry or upset for “no reason.”

A sensitive toughen up or while still maintaining compassion. It is a good thing to be compassionate. Yes, of course it is. With the current state the world is in, compassion is what we need the most. It’s not about compassion, it’s about how our level of compassion is negatively affecting us. Sensitive Ones or shall I say, sensitive superheroes, have people-pleaser syndrome—that is, we cannot stop exhausting ourselves financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically for others. We spend most of our time helping others cultivate themselves while losing ourselves in the process. This makes our level of compassion dangerous. If we don’t realize that, we won’t take our too sensitive nature seriously. We don’t always recognize we are in a danger zone because it isn’t so in your face. We don’t have to be crawling on our knees bringing water to someone while we’re dying of thirst. The danger zone could be from our extreme generosity and kindness, our time, effort, and patience. Our level of compassion can be so high that we not only overexert ourselves for those who deserve our compassion but also for those who do not. And when we receive compassion in return, we often do not expect it and will not accept it

Sheryl says, “So very capable compassionate sensitives must learn to say NO when their efforts will not be appreciated and wait to be asked for any assistance. Sensitives also need to learn it is okay to receive as well as give. It is in the flow of give and take that one finds balance and well- being. I often turned away gifts and efforts by others because I didn’t want them to have less, and I simply didn’t need much more. But I learned that when someone offers anything it is an offer of love and gratitude and needs to be accepted with compassion and thankfulness.”

Tamika might like readers of The Sensitive Stone to take away with them after reading the what is written below.

Tamika wrote, “I finally had to realize how my sensitive nature was affecting my life. I learned that if I continued to only take the time helping others, I would deny myself any chances of being happy. Discovering what was really going on inside, I was able to focus on what I needed to attain the peace and happiness that awaited. If you continue the path of an unhealthy level of compassion, you will continue to create unhealthy results. You will never know when the world is getting too heavy for you to carry. You will not recognize when your feet are so deep in the cemented ground that they prevent you from moving forward and taking healthier steps in life. It is time to lighten the load that you carry for others.

What makes The Sensitive Stone so unique? The Sensitive Stone is a vehicle that drives your mind to important places in your life. These “places” may have created your overly sensitive nature. Each stop you make on your ride will help you assess yourself. You will be able to reset so that you finally live in your truth.

Part 1: Being a Sensitive one—You will discover the patterns leading to the detrimental habits that caused you to lose yourself.

Part 2: Becoming a Sensitive Stone—You will learn to toughen up with your newfound inner power while maintaining your compassionate nature.

Part 3: Balancing the Stone— You will learn to find a balance between using your gift of compassion and owning your true power. Without balance, you will use your gift but lose your power. Part 3 will help you maintain both.

We thank Tamika S. Thomas author of The Sensitive Stone for sharing the many attributes and skills of a sensitive person and ways for them to enhance their compassionate giving nature as they develop the strength within to share their many spiritual gifts and grow healthy joyful and strong in their inner being.

In summarizing today’s episode of Healing From Within Tamika has shared the story of most of us who in some way or another is a sensitive being. For a soul in a physical body deal with the outside world and the emotions and belief systems of other human beings who interact with them and since we all see the world according to our own perceptions we often develop sensitivities and don’t allow ourselves the luxury of accepting we are not perfect nor is anyone else perfect. But a physical life offers us the chance to develop self- love and a sense of worthiness for the person we are and the person we aspire to become over time and with awareness.

Tamika writes about love, “If we are talking about us receiving love from someone else, let’s first establish that love is not about who someone is to you, but how someone is to you. In other words, love is when someone does or says something that feels good to your heart, soul, spirit, and mind. Love is when your heart trusts a presence because of the goodness this presence brings.

The other faces of love… There are many faces of love. Love is a force, but it cannot be forced from or upon you

Love cannot be locked away, yet it can be torture when it is hidden

Love is so beautiful that it can make you feel beautiful even when the only thing you believe in is the ugly parts of yourself

Love is boundless It can be places, things, memories, and split moments A breeze, a thought, a taste, a smell, a sound

Love is so fierce that it cannot be taught Morals and grace—those can be taught, but not love

Your physical appearance is of no concern to love It also does not care if you are financially successful, nor can you buy love This is the beauty and magic of love!

Now, let’s go through what love is not.
Love is not Acts of violence against you
Abuse in any form from yourself or anyone else
Someone constantly hurting your feelings

It does not matter what someone’s intentions are If hurting you or seeing you cry or suffer is a constant thing then this person is committing unloving acts against you

People making fun of you when it hurts you Putting yourself down Pursuing your worst

Tamika and Sheryl will have you begin to realize that life is simply an opportunity for learning and loving and once you know who you are and what makes you shine your true uniqueness into the world YOU WILL HAVE CONQUERED your sensitivities and be at peace with yourself and the world. It takes time, patience and effort to learn to find self-worth love and joy in your own soul essence but once you begin the search the journey to success begins not only possible but probable.

I am Sheryl Glick RMT Reiki Master Energy Teacher Medium and author of the newest book in a trilogy A New Life Awaits: Spirit Guided Insights to Support Global Awakening and invite you to visit my website www.sherylglick.com to read about and listen to leaders in the metaphysical scientific spiritual religious medical and energy healers psychologists and those in the arts and music fields seek answers to age old questions of human and divine interest. Shows may also be heard on www.webtalkradio.net and www.dreamvisions7radio.com