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Moving Past Life -Threatening Challenges With Courage and Love
- Dr. Allen Lyka and Harriet Tinka
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Welcome to Healing From Within with Sheryl Glick your host Reiki Energy Master Teacher and author of her newest book in a trilogy A New Life Awaits Spirit Guided Insights to Share Global Awakening which share stories and messages from Spirit to let us know our challenges are not merely economic political societal just a spiritual disconnect from our inner soul wisdom and life force. Today we welcome Dr. Allen Lycka author of The Secrets of Living A Fantastic Life: The 13 Golden Pearl Within who with co-author Harriet Tinka share harrowing and traumatic escapes from death…his from a misdiagnosis of what he was told was a terminal illness and she from a nearly fatal kidnapping and beating by a stalker.
As listeners of “Healing From Within” are well aware, Sheryl and her accomplished guests share intimate and insightful looks at personal events so we may remember once again our true essence as spiritual beings or souls having a phyiscal life often to refine our emotions, expand love and compassion and improve relationships. Our dual nature must be understood and appreciated so we can merge the best of both worlds to create lives of health happiness prosperity both personally and collectively. In exploring mystical and synchronistic events many sensitive people discover life is much more than our physical body and our attachment to the physical world and in opening up to intuition and inner soul guidance, often find help to make better choices and decisions leading to a more productive life.
In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” Dr. Allen Lycka who is best known as one of the leading cosmetic dermatologists in the world is now acknowledged as a leading expert in Living A Fantastic Life as a transformational speaker and thought leader coach. Both he and co-author Harriet Tinka suffered near death experiences and sought renewal through the wisdom of human virtues that focused them on a life of richness, appreciation joy and service.
Allen tells us a little about himself self and how he felt when the doctor said, “You have six months to live so you’d better get your affairs in order.”
In February 2003 Dr. Allen Lycka was walking with his wife and youngest daughter at the Happiest Place on Earth when his wife noticed his foot was flapping. In the prime of life considered one of Canada’s leading cosmetic dermatologists, he was perplexed by this sudden development in his right foot. After a range of tests by dozens of doctors one leading neurologist delivered the devasting news that he had ALS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Looking for another diagnosis he found a doctor who discovered he had Lyme disease and was treated successfully for that condition. Since that trying experience Allen has delved into the miraculous joys and mysteries of life hoping to share his story and discoveries with others, so they might live with greater hope self-awareness and joy.
Sheryl says that many people have what they call “The Darkness of the Soul,” an episode of profound trauma and disbelief where they must make a complete turnabout of their beliefs, and often find what it was they were really born to experience. Out of the ashes often as a result when there is a feeling within that something is missing or not right, the soul creates a scenario such as a loss or health challenge so a person can rediscover themselves.
Dr. Lycka tells us how he met Harriet Tinka an award ceremony honoring Women of Distinction and bonded by their shared traumas and their renewed appreciation for the value of life and service decided they wanted to give others the secret to the Secrets or 13 essential human elements from the grains of near catastrophe and transformed into Golden Pearls of Wisdom.
Both authors used their extreme life threatening events as a turning point in their life. As a “turning point expert” Harriet Tinker is a perfect example of someone finding a need in the community and filling it. Despite dealing with obstacles in her life ,she has found success as the founder and CEO of Social Enterprise a company whose mission is to inspire and empower girls and women. Though stabbed kidnapped and left for dead she turned that horrifying experience into motivation. She has inspired and given hope to women who are faced with domestic violence She is known by her students as a “Powerhouse Role Model” who makes being genuine the most powerful thing of all. And she was a former runway and magazine model.
“It’s not what happens… It’s what you do with what happens.” - Epictetus, about 2,000 years ago. Two lives changed, irreversibly, in an instant, by devastating events…but rather than be destroyed, these two individuals Dr. Lycka and Harriet Tinka faced the ensuing challenges, embracing them as turning points. Seizing the second chances before them with both hands, they chose the path to “Living a Fantastic Life.” In doing so, they discovered “13 Golden Pearls” to guide them…which they are eager to now share with you - to inspire you for your own journey
Sheryl says that indeed “Attitude” is everything and in every Reiki 1 class she has taught, reads to the group a poem By Charles Swindell “Attitude” that says exactly that…. 10 percent of every challenge is what happens to us and 90 percent is our attitude or way of handling it that allows for success and personal growth. It is not the events of the outside world, but the wisdom within us, that finds ways to work with all challenges. Since there is no failure only experience, by accepting rather than resisting, you can utilize the experience without judging it as good or bad, and create something good from it.
Are you a victim? Have you been overtaken by a victim mentality? Bruce Lipton said, “Victim consciousness robs us of our creative ability.” : “It’s not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens.” Taking on this mindset may be challenging at first, but once you do, life will be enormously different. Everything will change – for the better. Epictetus, an ancient Greek, realized this about 2,000 years ago. Both Harriet Tinka, my co-author, and Dr. Lycka have lived through immense adversity. And by doing so, we came out better and stronger than we were before. We learned and lived the philosophy taught by Epictetus.
Let’s talk about those Golden Pearls and which ones became apparent to you earliest based on your personal experience.
The 13 Golden Pearls are:
#1: Love
#2: Inspiration
#3: Victory
#4: Vulnerability
#5: Intention (purpose)
#6: Non-negotiables
#7: Forgiveness
#8: Attitude
#9: Thankfulness
#10: Tenacity
#11: Laughter
#12: Enthusiasm
#13: Empowerment ...
Here are just three of the '13 golden pearls' they share: empowerment, thankfulness, and forgiveness - three pearls that can enhance any life:
- Empowerment, which means feeling good, feeling good about yourself, just living the life and letting it go.
- Thankfulness is about being grateful for everything you have. By being grateful for everything, you change from being self-centered into being a person who is more giving, and you can experience that much more. This changes the world, which changes the focus from you to something better.
- Forgiveness – the act of forgiving helps the forgiver as much as the one that is forgiven. Holding hate and pain inside yourself is like drinking poison and trying to hurt the other person. Forgiveness is not for the person you're giving it to but is a gift to yourself. It frees your soul and makes you that much healthier and better.
Dr. Lycka and Harriet Tinka teach that a person can forget everything and run or face everything and rise-up. And write, “I like that. That's beautiful, very good. That's a lot of wisdom but encapsulated in humor. Dr. Lycka and Harriet are on a mission because of cataclysmic life changes. I've done a lot of studying of people that have had what are called “near-death experiences,” where they've been pronounced clinically dead. And then they come back and say, "I went through a tunnel. I saw a being of light, and I had to review my life and look at all the places where I wasn't loving and kind, and maybe I got some wisdom from these advanced beings in another dimension."
These guys didn't have that experience exactly, but they were nearly dead, and Dr. Lycka was diagnosed as going to be dead. They went through their own “tunnels.” It sounds like they've come back with a similar shared mindset as a result. They all come back, wanting to be of service. They all come back with a greater sense of love. Those who come back from a near-death experience come back wanting to contribute and have less fear of death. It sounds like these guys have achieved kind of the same thing. It is now their life mission to share and help. I love what these guys are doing, the book is great, and the work they’re doing is important. — Jack Canfield, author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller Chicken Soup for The Soul.”
Dr. Lyca and Harriet Tinka tell us something about golden pearls and why they created the concept of 13 valuable virtues needed to find that fantastic life we are all born to discover and called them Golden Pearls.
Golden pearls do exist in nature. They are rare, and the deeper the gold color, the rarer they are. The rarest has a deep gold color and is referred to as a 24k golden pearl. They are grown in the gold-lip variety of the Pinctada maxima, South Sea pearl oyster in Indonesia, and the Philippines. Their warm, golden tones are completely natural, and no treatments are needed to enjoy the beauty of these gems. Pearls are a perfect metaphor for transcendence. Do you know how pearls are formed? When a foreign substance slips into the oyster, it irritates the shell and its organ. From that irritation, a tantalizing, mesmerizing, exquisite pearl is formed. We invite you to be the judge of how pearls are the perfect metaphor for the transformations that Harriet and Dr.Lycka have both accomplished.
Sheryl says that she always has coincidences or synchronicity with her intuitive and creative guests and she loved learning about Golden pearls how pearls are created, as her mother, now in Spirit so loved pearls and perhaps knew they were a metaphor for the transformation that can bring a challenging event into a marvelous outcome.
Allen go on to talk a little about laughter gratitude and enthusiasm which are all Golden Pearls and writes, “It is true that when your life is near the end, you begin to see things more clearly. You begin to see patterns, things you could never see otherwise. You reach out. So, I began a new journey – a journey to find my true diagnosis. I wasn’t going down without a fight. I did not accept the death sentence of ALS. Doctor Google did not exist in 2003. Going to the internet then was laborious. I searched thousands of sites. Somehow, after months with the Grim Reaper breathing down my neck, I stumbled upon the story of Dr. David Martz, a hematologist in Colorado Springs, Colorado. David had a story similar to mine, but he had deteriorated much more rapidly to being bedridden within months. He was on his deathbed when Dr. William Harvey, a chronic disease specialist, heard of David’s plight and came to see him. Dr. Harvey finally made the correct diagnosis. He started him on antibiotics, and, like Lazarus, David arose from the dead. I was convinced that both David and I had chronic Lyme disease, not ALS. Dr. Martz started a clinic in Colorado called the Rocky Mountain Chronic Disease clinic to help others. When I read about this, I knew I had to see him. Ordering a blood test, he confirmed my diagnosis of Chronic Lyme disease and started me on treatment, which stabilized my disease and is the reason I’m alive 16 years after my supposed demise. I would occasionally run into that neurologist who gave me a terminal illness diagnosis in the elevator of our shared office building after the original diagnosis. I’d quip, “Here I am, it’s a year (or two or three) and I’m not dead yet. Brilliant deduction.”
“Since, my medical history has been up and down. Another physician, Dr. Haines Ely, has often been helpful with thoughts and suggestions. In fact, many were radical, but they preserved my old body and helped me through many, many storms. Haines, sadly, recently passed away. As for me - I’ve been living on borrowed time. Just think – I had been diagnosed with ALS – Lou Gehrig’s disease – a guaranteed death sentence - and now I had a chance to live my life, a more fantastic life. To this day, I vividly remember my journey to find the dedication and compassion of David and the moment of being treated properly – because it was the moment that I emerged from the mental fog that had almost destroyed my life. It was accompanied by a feeling of euphoria, of internal bliss, of internal awakening.
That’s when I realized that I had received a “golden ticket,” a second chance to live more abundantly. And although I had been afflicted, I actually had been blessed. I finally knew God’s plan for me. And that I could help others find solutions for their problems without the hardship or difficulty I had encountered. Or at the very least minimize the time spent in suffering.”
Sheryl says that their book The Secrets to Living a Fantastic Life is a charming dialogue between you and Harriet, your chronicle of triumph over adversities, parables and stories along with inspirational quotes. What led you to this interesting mix of content?
Dr. Lycka answers, “Because adversity poisons some and strengthens others, we would like you to accompany us on our journey. Heat tempers steel, making it stronger. Harriet and I have both been tempered, learned how to take hold of our second chances and would like to share our experiences. We share this all in the dialogue we had as we wrote this book – the conversation of two close friends. And we’ve become so close that we finish each other’s sentences. Scary, right?”
Harriet tells us after her kidnapping and brutal assault by a stalker that she met Amber, a child who lost her parents in a car accident and was crippled and in a wheelchair, and finding this young girl suggested what purpose Harriet’s life could now take. The trauma taught Harriet that one cannot expect a perfect life, but must appreciate moments of beauty interspersed among tragedy. She has deliberately released any bitterness, anger, and sadness that her attacker physically and emotionally had caused her. The hardships made her stronger. Harriet got a second chance, a new beginning and now uses her experiences to help others. They can learn from my experiences without having to go through what Harriet went through. By accepting herself, she can now own her story. Harriet describes her life journey as moving from tragic to magic. I found my purpose. Now I live a fantastic life.
Moral of the story “You always gain by giving love.” – Reese Witherspoon
Harriet: That’s profound. But what makes you a love expert?
Dr. Lycka: Oh you - nothing in particular - just living. This is one of my favorite love stories. It reminds me that love is very complex. Did you know that according to the ancient Greeks, there are seven types of love?
Harriet: No way!!!
Dr. Lycka: Love, according to the ancient Greeks, was divided into seven types:
- Eros – named after the Greek god of love and fertility romantic love
- Philia – Affectionate Brotherly love
- Storge – Familiar love
- Mania – Obsessive love
- Pragma – Enduring love
- Philautia – Self-love
- Agape – Selfless Love
Harriet: Wow – that’s a lot to digest. It’s all Greek to me.
Dr. Lycka: Haha. Yes, it is very hard to comprehend at first glance. But let’s talk a little about each one, and I promise it will get easier.
Harriet: Great; I would love to know more. Dr. Lycka: The ancient Greeks would have been upset by our use of one word to state, “I love you” and the same word to nonchalantly sign a letter with “lots of love.” That wouldn’t make sense to them. The types of love were and are distinct entities. So, let’s talk about Eros, the first type of love they acknowledge. Eros was named after the Greek god of fertility, and it signified sexual love. Maybe in today’s language, it means “love-making.” But the Greeks didn’t always think of it as something positive because Eros involved losing control, and that frightened them. To them, it was wild and crazy love. Harriet: That is odd because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don't we all hope to fall 'madly' in love? Love is irrational, out of control and that’s viewed as bad in love. I was the victim of that mania when obsession took over. He was 'out of control'. His love was a form of madness like Cupid’s arrows. I was oblivious to his intentions until his obsession forced me to open my eyes to a love that threatened my life.
Dr. Lycka: I know. True love means a lot of sharing and caring. But Eros is really about irrational or 'passionate love'. In your situation, your tormentor lost it.
That’s why the Greeks valued brothers in arms who fought side by side on the battlefield. It was about showing loyalty to friends, sacrificing for them, and sharing their emotions with them. It involves love for fellow humans as well as care, respect, and compassion for people in need. They go on to discuss the other types of love and this is the form of dialogue that shares insights into their own thoughts actions reactions and experiences …Sheryl says it is quite charming and easy to read these conversations between Allen and Harriet for most people.
Both Allen and Harriet have left one career and are now firmly engaged in another and that is how destiny and each life plan unfold. Sheryl says we are all born with a life plan and destiny, and most of the people relationships and work experiences are written into that plan. In Sheryl’s case she has been fortunate enough to have many interactions with people places and events that have allowed her to grow and refine her own soul energy and to serve and share love and joy into all the experiences. Sheryl has had multiple careers and life experiences as a teacher businesswoman wife mother grandmother author, radio show host, intuitive Reiki Master Energy Teacher and medium who downloads messages to help people connect to their own soul journeys. But most importantly, Sheryl has adhered to the goals of Self and Spirit, to serve, and to love life at the same time. In her last book in a trilogy A New Life Awaits Sheryl wrote, “In reading A New Life Awaits, I know you will discover much synchronicity with your own daily observations and find comfort in validating many of your dearest wishes to live life in an expansive and bolder approach, creating new perspectives, new thoughts, taking you in the direction that your soul and heart were born to experience. Unencumbered by the rules and limitations of societal or family systems that may have temporarily made you forget the amazing, loving, magnificent entity that you are that was born to walk in delight on our beautiful earth landscape and in spiritual light, you will find that a new life awaits you, and know you do not walk alone.
When asked what Dr. Allen Lycka would most like readers to take away with them after reading The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life Dr. Lycka goes on to say, “ As a doctor, I have also found some people literally cannot love, and it’s often because some experience of needing love was missing or some other childhood experience such as bullying.
Harriet: Great minds think alike. I work with a group of young women in an organization I established, called “Empowered Me.” Some of the students who participate in the program have a strong emotional need caused by childhood deprivation and are incapable of loving. Most have issues with their parents/caregivers. If the parents raise children in a loving environment, the impact has an ongoing positive effect on the child. If not, the child often suffers from emotional hunger and confuses other things for love. They try to find ways to fill in that void or emptiness and often repeat the unloving experiences that started it all.
Dr. Lycka: How do you teach them to love? Harriet: No, this is an art, not a science. The first step is forgiveness. Holding onto hate is like trying to harm someone by drinking the poison yourself. Later in this book, we will talk about this some more.
Dr. Lycka: That’s profound. It does, however, bring up another question. I’m sure many of our readers would like to learn how they can love more deeply.
Love is one of the few things that increase in value when you give it away. You increase and intensify love by giving more. And the love must be unconditional. But it must be reciprocated from the person you are giving it to. Otherwise, unrequited love only leads to an empty relationship.
I want to thank you Dr Allen Lycka and co-author Harriet Tinka authors of The Secrets to Living A Fantastic Life for sharing your life altering challenges that led to greater awareness of the Golden Pearl that sustain and support our best lives ultimately connecting to our soul or spiritual core and make us both whole and holistic. To Read more about lives of empowerment and total oneness go to www.fantasticlifebook.com
In summarizing today’s episode of Healing From Within we have discovered how life altering challenges can lead us to the virtues or golden pearls that enhance and empower life and aid us in recognizing what is really valuable and sustainable in our emotional inner landscape, and that is indeed, compassion and love, and the desire to share, reach out, and serve others with the blessings of kindness, goodness and joy, within us, so life can be lived with distinction and respect for all conditions, both of the physical and spiritual realms.
In life you need either inspiration or desperation.”– Tony Robbins
Dr. Lycka goes on to write, “ Inspire. This word can be traced back to the Latin inspirare (“to breathe or blow into”), which itself is from the word spirare, meaning 'to breathe'. The earliest English uses of inspire give it the meaning “to influence, move, or guide (as to speech or action) through a divine or supernatural agency or power.” Harriet asks him What inspires you, Dr. Lycka?
“I look for people who have achieved great things and overcome adversity. Some of these are immortalized in movies. One of my all-time favorites is Chariots of Fire. It tells the fact-based story of two athletes in the 1924 Olympics, Eric Liddell, a devout Scottish Christian who runs for the glory of God, and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew who runs to overcome prejudice. It’s the story of a group of athletes who overcome tremendous odds to win the Olympics. Another movie I love is The Darkest Hour. Set in May 1940, it is about the early days of Winston Churchill as Prime Minister. Nazi Germany’s army began a blitzkrieg across Western Europe and threatened the UK. The German advance led to infighting throughout the highest levels of government between those who would make a peace treaty with Hitler, and Churchill, who refused. It’s the story of perseverance and the ability to persist undefeated in the face of adversity.”
Allen Harriet and Sheryl would have you remember perhaps what one of their favorite Maya Angelou quotes is: “My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done, and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”
Sheryl Glick host of Healing From Within invites you to visit her website www.sherylglick.com to read about and listen to authors changemakers and visionaries as they explore the world of metaphysics science spirituality medicine education and the arts and music to discover more about our human and divine components of energy and higher consciousness so we may merge the dimensions and realities of life on earth and beyond. Shows may also be heard on www.webtalkradio.net and www.dreamvisions7radio.com
