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New Appreciation for Life Death and the Dying Experience
- Becki Hawkins
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In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” Host Sheryl Glick certified energy practitioner/medium and longtime Hospice Volunteer welcomes Becki Hawkins author of Transitions- A Nurse’s Education about Life and Death. Becki as a hospice nurse and hospice chaplain over a thirty year time frame, observed and participated in the many miracles and insightful moments that accompany the most challenging and engaging parts of the dying process. By observing the dying process, many people learn to appreciate and let go of unnecessary grief, anger, and guilt that has accumulated over a lifetime and which often is the precursor to much unhappiness, sorrow, illness, and a loss of love of life. Becki and Sheryl’s inclination as is true of sensitive medical workers, healers and practitioners everywhere is to see each patient beyond the numbers, statistics and diagnosis to hear their story and encourage healing on a multi-dimensional level of mind, body and spirit. Healing of course can only be achieved by the individual who chooses to let go of outdated thinking and past events to be in the moment of new truth and awareness. Caring professionals may provide an environment that is necessary in helping patients at the end of life to realize a sense of wholeness and review some major aspects of their life.
Becki will share stories of her time spent at the bedside, while giving someone chemotherapy or doing wound care or at home visits with hospice patients which created an opportunity for patients to share amazing stories of love and a clearer view of the” other side” or that informational field of energy beyond this life. They may have become familiar with this dimension through the spiritual presence of loved ones at their bedside, or a near death experience during their illness. Near death experiences serve two major purposes One purpose seems to be to show a small representation of the journey ahead to new life. The person will know with certainty there is no death- only a transfer of the life force or soul. The second major purpose is to bring back messages or new intuitive insights to share with others.
One story that was particularly appealing to Sheryl was the story of the minister who had lung cancer and every time Becki came in the room his wife and sister left for the kitchen areas. It was so hard for them to watch his diminishing energy and his life slipping away. Sheryl observed this reaction so many times when doing hospice volunteer work. It was Becki who was with him at his final moment assisting him into his bed to look out the window at a two hundred year old tree, and his parish church in the background. He joyously yelled out to his wife coming down the hallway that the beautiful angels were calling him to join them and with a smile and his promise that he would see her again, took his last breath. Because Becki told that particular story after Sheryl offered her seven other uplifting, amusing, and enlightening stories which she had enjoyed in Becki’s book, “Transitions”. Sheryl was able to tell her own encounter with angels. While visiting with a 92 year old man in a hospice ward , as the man slept, Sheryl closed her eyes and sent Reiki Healing Energy for an easy transition. In her inner vision three beautiful angels were swirling around the head of the man and singing. Though Sheryl couldn’t hear the music, she was joyous and happy to know the man was not alone and would soon journey with these beings beyond this life. The next time Sheryl visited hospice she asked if the man had passed that day. The staff said he had been taken home and passed that evening in his own home. It would seen the soul has some choice whether they leave when someone is with them or choose to be independent and leave in their own way. Many family members have said they felt guilty that they weren’t with a loved one when they passed. I think it is sometimes easier for a soul to go without causing any further emotional distress to their family members. They do so out of consideration and love. Everything is always happening according to a personal soul and larger divine plan.
Becki and Sheryl have observed, as did Elizabeth Kubler Ross MD, who observed the dying process finding a clearer way to assist the dying and lead the way for our modern day Hospice facilities. Hospice care helps the patient and family with end of life decisions. Elizabeth Kubler Ross also wrote a children’s book which Sheryl is particularly fond of, called “Remember the Secret.” This book is to help parents deal with the loss of a child while perhaps realizing it is not how long we live, but how well we have loved and been loved. The book shares the message that for all of us, no matter how young or old we are, when we cross over, the process is the same for all of us. Beyond this time and place there is Eternity and reconnections with all the people we have know in life. In “Remember the Secret” a young boy dies, leaving his little girlfriend behind. The young boy ascends with a pair of angels and is told by the angels that he will be cared for and she will be watched over until they meet again. To some it seems like a kind way to help parents deal with what is perhaps the most painful moment of their lives. Parents may see an early passing as a punishment, when in reality, we all have a moment to be born and transcend beyond this life. But in the findings of many medical doctors, nurses, clergymen, healers and mediums and those who have had near death experiences or those who have had spiritual visitations in dreams or actually seen their relatives standing before them, an afterlife is not fantasy, but a great gift from Spirit.
Becki also shared a story of a four year old girl who was stricken with polio and had a near death experience at that time, immediately relaying the details to her father when she awakened. She told her father what she saw and felt and her father responded adamantly, “Never talk about it again.” This ignorant and unknowing response so typical of many parents gave Becki and Sheryl the chance to offer parents a way to listen to their children so they do not deny or belittle what the child might experience. Listening with an open mind and less judgment supports what children are observing even if the parents do not yet see the same vision. For a child who shares truthfully any story and receives the lack of trust from an adult, it will take almost a lifetime of self-doubt and recrimination for that children to recover from the hurt. If they are fortunate, they will find people who can validate the truth of their amazing vision and story at some point in their life. A negative response or word from a parent, teacher, religious or medical person can harm the spiritual and physical well being of a child. It would be much better for parents to delight in their children’s imagination and explore the possibilities for what can be an amazing reality. Becki and Sheryl suggest that adults be kind, accepting, and allowing of what a child shares from their heart and offer an explanation or comforting word rather than a rebuttal. When all of us open our mind and heart, the possibilities for true growth of soul, mind, and body are endless.
Family, friends, doctors, nurses and volunteers can assist their patients and loved ones by paying attention, listening and respecting any requests they make which often helps them reevaluate or revisit unresolved issues before they pass. Of course remain calm, joyful and share smiles and put your personal issues or fears aside. We all should be given the gift to close our eyes and dream of a pleasant remembrance of those we love to take with us into our new life. It is also helpful to not take any of the behavior of the patient personally and if we allow them to be the main character in this end of life play and be supporting actors who focus on providing truthful information, comfort and emotional support. By using team work we will do our loved ones a great service.
Becki wrote in her book the following;
“My patients have taught me so much. Those who are dying and have felt the freedom to remove their masks, release their fears, make peace with their pain are the ones who really Speak Life.”
“ To me they teach me how to live I just need to practice it. How do you want to live the rest of the time you have left? How do you want to be remembered?”
Sheryl and Becki are joyful to announce with great passion that their many experiences with the living, the dying and those in spirit, have taught them that life is the greatest gift any soul can be given and finding happiness and love is only possible when you realize that life is eternal and continuous.
