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Your Relationship with Money
- Bob Wheeler
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In today’s episode of Healing From Within, your host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love, a book that shares miraculous stories of modern afterlife evidence proving that consciousness survives physical death and that we are each part of a greater more loving reality than the physical life we mainly concentrate our thoughts on. Sheryl welcomes Bob Wheeler, a certified CPA practicing in LA and author of The Money Nerve. Financial freedom is a healthy relationship with money and no matter what your socio-economic level is we need to move past fear and limiting beliefs to make better choices in regard to our financial decisions. Bob addresses the many reasons why people often struggle with why they make poor financial decisions often leading compromised results.
Bob Wheeler is a licensed spiritual Agape practitioner and has followed his own crusade for personal growth cross-pollinated with his accounting practice and delivers a new approach to personal finances. His passion is to help others gain insights about how emotions trigger financial decisions. Bob has also pursued his love of satire and ventured into the realm of standup comedy. He has traveled to many points of the globe, climbed Mt Kilimanjaro in Africa and exudes a timeless powerful energy.
The benefits of learning to be responsible for your finances are the same as learning to accept responsibilities for all areas of your life… by honoring respecting and taking your decisions or choices seriously you are becoming a more empowered and enlightened being and the effects will spill over into all areas of your life health and relationships producing abundance and prosperity. Ultimately you will have peace of mind create a roadway to the future use money resourcefully and find you are able to spend more time and resources on hobbies or interests that engage you and help you be happier.
One first must set a new course…to leave the past behind get new information and new tools…you must decide where you are going (set a goal) what you have to work with (your beliefs) and what new things you will bring to the mix ( your new perspective). By embrace your own story and accepting your are partially responsible for your current state of affairs you will begin to make necessary changes. ( Accept responsibility…don’t blame others)
Sheryl says… “In my new book The Living Spirit Answers for Healing and Infinite Love I suggest that many of life’s fondest dreams may be thwarted by our fears and intentions and I wrote…” Many choose to believe it is life circumstances that are at the root of the destruction of so many fine plans, intentions and opportunities. I believe it is the perception of limitation and self-doubt not our circumstances which destroys dreams and thwarts wonderful ideas. What I call the Law of Attraction is a universal energetic truth of creating our own reality by bringing to us the people and circumstances that our mind and actions generate… and what we focus our thoughts, time and energy on that ultimately brings these possibilities into reality…( So when it is said be careful what you wish for there is some relevance to that idea)”
Emotions cause us to make good or poor choices. Our finances are impacted when our money nerve is pinched and that is when it is time to recognize and take control of your financial fears and make the best choices that reflect what you want to have in your life…Mental mapping or programming is a new way to think and learning to make adjustments is an important part of this process.
There are many effects that trigger people to make the same decisions repeatedly. Perhaps a mental map or impressions or beliefs we adopted from family and society early on in life… A mental map is a map of the environment within the mind of an individual which reflects the knowledge and prejudices of that individual. Becoming aware of your mental map helps you recognize how you unconsciously divert yourself from your ultimate destination or goal. Of course remember there are many roads to the same destination and if you are not in a hurry you may make a different choice. Mental mapping your approach towards finances means rerouting the “I Can’t Afford if Mentality”..
We all have different wants and needs. Some people have a strong desire to save for the future. Others want to live in the moment. We all have different levels of emotional tolerance toward our present financial situation….If your money nerve is being pinched explore ways to release the tension: start to question your core emotional impulses when certain money situations come up. How do you react to an overdrawn bank account, seeing your new credit card statement, writing big checks, creating a budget, buying something on impulse….Do you always need to pay for dinner? Do you feel scared empowered ashamed proud or angry Maybe you spend money to cover insecurities. Maybe you use money to manipulate ( for example hinting to relatives that they stand to inherit large sums if they are in good stead with you) Maybe you give away money to feel empowered..Each reason suggests you are either comfortable with yourself accepting of life or not and able to flow no matter what happens… A Money nerve is a reaction to a situation where you feel compromised or uncertain of the outcome…initiating a fear.
A interstate type of mindset where everyone is speeding quickly to their destination and accidents can happen may take place in your financial map when you try to juggle payments on seven credit cards, transfer money from one bank account to another, free up expenses on one credit card so you can charge more on it while you make a payment for another card and wait for a paycheck to cover checks you just wrote.
If you have a lot of different things going on financially you have to take a breath. Become aware of all the moving parts of your financial journey.
NOW MAKE SOME CONSCIOUS CHOICES; examples: I won’t charge my credit card, I’ll just skip going out to dinner this week….Maybe I really don’t need three new outfits. I should balance my checkbook…
Many people believe that if they have a financial advisor and accountant they have some kind of financial GPS and everything is OK because of that, however you are the driver of your financial vehicle and ultimately you are responsible for your financial choices. I have several clients who in spite of grave consequences have driven right off a financial cliff despite being informed of its presence…Collectively most of us are unconscious or in a dream state.
Beginning to understand what fuels your mind and why is important. Words are powerful and it is important to know what you want and what you need…I need a TV I need to go to Hawaii. Are those statements true?….No They are WANTS not NEEDS…you need oxygen not a new cell phone. Once you start to hear your own voice, you can begin to give yourself alternative choices Remember little words like BUT can negate any good intention you have.
Example: I want financial success BUT I am afraid of it. I want to learn healthy financial habits, but my folks never taught me about money. I want to stand up for myself but people will criticize me…..The word BUT packs negative power. WORK TO ELIMINATE THAT WORD… Making tiny changes in your words and thinking can have big results. Another example: You might hear yourself say I want to have money in the bank, but I have lots of debt. REPLACE THAT WITH I am working towards financial freedom and I am eliminating debt along the way.
LETS LOOK AT WHAT WORDS WE ARE USING NEGATIVELY THAT AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY… If you say I am broke… Stop to consider Are you really broke? Are you going to a soup kitchen and living on the street SO STOP AND CREATE A NEW MENTAL STATE AND EVENTUALLY REPLACE YOUR WORDS WITH DIFFERENT OPTIONS…EX. I’m broke because I choose to spend money on shoes…do I really need them???
THINK ABOUT IT! You are making the choices to eat out and wear nice clothes and making choices with your money . TAKE BACK YOUR POWER TO CHOOSE!
Example: One couple called and were beyond broke..The husband had decided that buying and reselling boats was a good business only the time was not ideal and the financial markets in that commodity had changed. His money was tied up in the boat and now the couple was going to be evicted from their apartment and were expecting a baby… I asked why didn’t they live on the boat..I had myself done that for 3 years and this way they wouldn’t ruin their credit…The couple’s mental map indicated that living on a boat was a sign of failure and of course they could have said exactly the opposite like “How cool- Its an adventure” They decided to move onto the boat as that was their best choice and realized they weren’t beyond broke. They allowed their mental map to shift.
Remember maybe it is not about being broke or how much money you have…maybe it is that their priorities don’t match their desires.
Sheryl has observed that many men more so than women conserve and protect their assets as they get older and even if they are quite well off will be living minimally and not enjoying their life as they should. While saving is very important taken to an extreme over saving can be harmful An extreme saver risks living for a future that may never come….many people had relatives who lived through a depression or recession, earlier loss of income in the home due to the death of a bread winner and have difficulty getting past the fear of scarcity. I know people who have paid off their houses completely yet never go out to eat or travel. They may be living in fear of a possible financial event.
Bob says, “Years ago I went to Greece and ran the original marathon. At first my mental mindset said I couldn’t go because I wasn’t rich but then my friend convinced me to go. Running with me were a dozen Americans and at the finish line emotion came over me and I started to cry. Running that marathon made me realize that I was not limited to what people told me was possible or not possible. When you say yes…the way to do what you need will often be provided one way or another.”
Bob says his relationship with money is a long term relationship that must be honored respected and taken seriously for best results. The ultimate benefit is to have peace of mind and create a clear path to future financial wellness through realizing;
Short term immediate goals (today, this week, this month)
Midterm goals (this year, the next few years)
Long term goals (ten years, twenty years, retirement)
Improving your care in handling your finances improves your understanding of the decision making process and also your personal relationships as you begin to assume responsibility for your fears and actions and begin to make more conscious choices in all areas of your life….balance harmony order and happiness are the ultimate result of greater personal awareness and awakening to your fullest potential.
Bob Wheeler has shared a new way to look at how our finances are affected by our emotional responses to money often as a result of the attitudes and fears felt by our parents teachers or role models in regard to what role money played in life.
Bob and Sheryl have explored how to replace outdated belief systems related to money and how to overcome fears about money creating a healthier relationship with your finances and also creating a more honest responsible way to accept how our actions beliefs and habits either create a well defined management of our funds or bring chaos and mismanagement into our financial structures. In the same way that we learn about our own mistakes or lack of awareness in regard to how we are handling our financial behaviors these inconsistencies may also be at play in other important areas of our life…. our interaction with others, our work habits, how we handle leisure time and may reflect damaging attitudes from our childhood or training. This new awareness along with accepting responsibility for our behaviors and actions may allow us to begin to develop a greater love and respect for ourselves and to make new choices based on present day realities while we begin to appreciate with gratitude life in general…When you bring a new consciousness to any aspect of your daily life experience and assume personal responsibility for assuming more open and honest ways to exist you will become aware that it is not the outside world that is creating any challenge for you but rather your inner view of self and others and your perception of what is important in life. Your values and your personal growth can guide you to appreciate the benefits of becoming a more competent caring and loving human being and will improve all situations ultimately creating a new reality.
